READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL: Week 12 I Love Drew Brees

Yeah, I said it and I mean it. Drew Brees is the GOAT, running for first downs better than Brady would have in his rookie season, making completions that make A-a-ron jealous.

From: https://www.reddit.com/r/Saints/comments/9mkzll/browns_fan_herebreesus_is_jesus_congrats_saints/

There he is, Breesus, King of the Drews

Don't get me wrong, I'm still a Packers fan, but they're not likely to do very well this year anyway - I mean, maybe they might, there is always hope.... But whatever, it's the Saints' year and Brees is on fire! It's a real joy to watch.

The Running Game: Week Three NFC South Showdown

In honor of tonight's game, allow me to share this little gem from the Cooper Manning Hour (minus 58 minutes).

I don't trust a guy with two first names. That's coming from a guy with two last names.

The NFC South may be the weakest division in the NFC, but they certainly do not disappoint on the field. Tonight's high-scoring game is no exception. 1st and 10, completion, completion, good run, completion, 2nd and goal, touchdown. Kickoff, good run, completion, completion, completion, another 1st down in the red zone, completion, 1st and goal, TOUCHDOWN! Kickoff, good run, 1st down, completion, completion, good run, completion, INTERCEPTION FOR A TOUCHDOWN!

45 to 32 in the middle of the fourth quarter. Damn good game in New Orleans tonight.

Going for Two: Week Fifteen Wrap Up

Again, the worst my Mid-Season calculation can do is the best any metric has done this year. At best, it will tie the Wins & Home calculation for Week 14 in 2013 and my Gut* prediction for 2013.. For a little while, it looked like I was headed there, but the Lions are up by 15 points half-way through the 4th quarter, so Mid-Season is at 88%. Here are the times when any metrics reached that mark or higher in the past 4 years.

2012 Week 2: Home Field Advantage 88% Week 11: Football Locks 93% Week 17: Wins & Home 88%

2013 Week 8: Wins 92% Week 8: Wins & Home 92% Week 14: Football Locks 88% Week 14: Early Calculation 88% Week 14: Home Field Advantage 88% Week 14: Wins 88% Week 14: Wins & Home 94% Week 15: Gut 94%*

2014 (none)

2015 (none)

*These picks were made during 2014, with the knowledge of the season outcome for many teams, but without knowing the actual outcomes of any regular-season games. 

The Saints could have actually won this game, with 6 seconds left, but somehow, the receivers cannot catch a ball to save their lives. And with that, Week 15 comes to a close

Back to Football: Week Eight [censored]

WHAT THE BLEEPING BLEEP?

I figured that, since Cleveland gave Jacksonville their only win and that even the worst teams win at least one game, usually, I'd take a risk and pick Oakland for Sunday. It was a mistake, of course, since Cleveland was at home, a better team, and probably fired up from the loss. Oops, oh well.

I had my doubts about Green Bay in New Orleans, of course, but I never imagined THAT bloodbath. I also would NOT have wanted to be on that team after a certain point that night. Aaron Rodgers looked PISSED every time the camera pointed at him, and that kind of attitude is not very encouraging. I have serious doubts about the defense. I mean, I know that black is slimming, but it doesn't make the players invisble or without matter, yet they slipped by the Packers as if they were. Very, very sad, all around. Well, except for Saints fans, I guess.

As for Philly v. ARI and Pittsburgh v. IND, those were toss-ups, and I went the wrong way, oh well. But by gawd, I never imagined a Dallas loss, IN DALLAS, to AAAARRRGGGGGG I'm to angry to even identify the team. Just imagine copious amounts of swear words here.

So I went from the highest high at the end of the early games to sort of the lowest low, ending up with a modest, painfully average, for me, 10 for 15 record on Week 8. I suppose that it was a case of counting my chickens before they hatched.

Sundays are for Football: Week Eleven

On account of me having the National Cold, I slept away the morning, then turned on the TV in time to see, like, half of the early games in overtime. The big upset so far is the Jets over the Rams. I am watching the overtime of the Cleveland Browns and the Dallas Cowboys. In this game, the Cowboys are gonna win. I can feel it.

--Time Passes and the Cowboys won. No other overtime games ended in a flipping tie either, thank you.--

The late game that I'm gonna watch - the only one that I have the option of watching - is the one that I'd like to see. Silver and Black vs Gold and Black, or the Raiders vs. Saints. The Saints are up 14 to nothing, and I predict some good things for the Saints this year, despite their bad start.

--Time Passes--

Halftime has passed, and The Saints are up 21 to 7. Now, technically, ideally, I should want the Raiders to win, because I like Oakland. But let's face it, the only thing intimidating about the Oakland Raiders are its fans. We have a giant bark, but a teeny, tiny bite. We suck at football, and it is okay. Maybe someday, the Raiders will be good, and that will be sweet. Today, however, I want the Saints to make a huge comeback. I also swear that I saw one of the Saints doing Gangnam Style after the last touchdown, and that is just awesome. Except that these Saints keep excessively celebrating, and they need to cut that sh*t out before they get more penalties.

--Time Passes--

Now, at the end of the late games, with two more games to go in the week, all but one of the teams that I picked to win this week actually did win. Several of those teams started out the games behind, and then had to go into overtime, and then won the game. Even if my last two predictions turn out to be wrong, I am at 77% for this week.

I made a last minute change for the Sunday night game, after looking at the teams that the Ravens and the Steelers last defeated. Both have good records, with the Ravens having a slightly better record, but the Steelers seem to have been defeating slightly better teams (like the Giants). They're also at home, so I've changed my gut pick to the Steelers tonight. They better not let me down.

I'm also hesitant about the Chicago Bears this weekend. I didn't like the tie at the end of the 49ers game last week, and am worried that it is going to shake my boyfriend's confidence. However, he will be at home, and on Monday night. The Bears do have a better record, but they are coming off of a loss, at home even.

Here are my two parallel predictions: If the Steelers lose, and the Ravens win, then the 49ers will defeat the Bears. But if the Steelers win, the Bears will win too. In other words, there will be a single team with an 8&2 record at the end of Monday night.

Sundays are for Football: Week Ten Super Late Edition

So, I actually had a post going on Sunday, while watching the games in fact. I was on my flight to Minneapolis, and the airline had showed TV stations at take-off and landing for free, so I was able to see the scores of the games, and a couple of the games.

But the post that I typed up, replete with brilliant witticisms, somehow got lost and is now long gone. I am happy to report that my big upset of the week - which, if you were watching, wasn't a real upset - prediction, New Orleans beating the undefeated Falcons, turned out to be true.

In bizarro news, my boyfriend could not defeat the Rams, but neither could they defeat him! It turned out to be a tie. A MOTHERFLIPPING TIE. 24-24, for gerbil's sake. Now, now I have no idea what to say, but it happened, right there, on nfl.com. So, there, I guess.

Week Nine Monday Special

So, I was excited this morning, because I figured that I was on my way to another 85% accurate weekend, as long as the Eagles won. Then I started watching the game, and remembered that New Orleans had Drew Brees, and the Eagles had Michael "I don't have a fumbling problem, I just drop the ball a lot" Vick. At the half, New Orleans was up 21-3. After some good plays by New Orleans, I thought that my "nothing matters before the half" comments were just posturing.

Then the Eagles get a defensive touchdown, and they recovered a fumbled kick-off return, and we thought that maybe, just maybe, I was right. We shall see....

--Time Passes--

Did you see that crazy play? Such a shame, that that pretty boy with the long hair didn't get a return touchdown, and then take his shirt off and... I mean, um yeah. Interestingly, even though the Eagles are Mediocre right now, and playing a Bad team, with a loss tonight, they will become Bad. The Saints have to win a few more to get into Mediocre, but if they don't lose another game this season, they could end up as Good.

--Time Passes--

Dude, this [what the hell is that thing called - a stretch of plays down the field, progression? why can't I remember this crap?] is so bad. Vick got like three of the first downs on his own, because the pocket collapsed, then he threw this huge arching pass into the stands. Maybe their coach should get that mouse off of his face and he could help his team think of better plays. They got to 1st and Goal, but two penalties, a crappy pass, and whatever other plays they make.... Ugh, they didn't even get THREE points.

That's it, the Eagles SUCK, just like the rest of the NFC East did this week. But then again, I don't like the NFC East, so, yay for me.

Sundays are for Football: Week Four

So, today is another day, another weekend, and another set of games available on Network TV in the Bay Area. I missed a big chunk of the early game, and may miss more if we go to Target or get lunch or something, but it doesn't matter because Packers aren't playing until 3:15 CDT, or 1:15 here in the bay. After a couple of weeks of working myself up, I am definitely worked up for this game. New Orleans is 0-3, and Packers are coming off a loss that shouldn't-have-been.

But first, the 49ers play the Jets, and by "play", I mean "practice scoring lots of points against an AFC team for when they get to the Super Bowl". San Francisco plays as well as I wish the Packers would play. I mean, did you see that blocked punt? Just marvelous.

One thing that drives me nuts is to hear the interviews after the game. Usually, I'll mute the TV and/or just talk over the responses to questions with my own commentary. Here is a little example of what I wish Alex Smith would say.

Reporter: Why do you think San Francisco is doing so well?
Smith: Well, I live in a really awesome city, right next to the ocean, around a lot of cool people. I watch the sun set over the Pacific like, every day, then I go out dancing in the Castro. Have you ever been over there? They know how to party, it is awesome.

Reporter: You shut out the Jets this Sunday, and got over 30 points, do you think you can do it again?
Smith: Of course I can do it again, I am Alex &$^%ing Smith, and I play for the 49ers. We're a team named after gold miners, and gold is the best thing in the world, plus Joe Montana played for this team. I bet I can score over 40 points in the next game, &^%$.

Reporter: Are you at all concerned about your offense feeling any pressure?
Smith: Are you kidding me? We've got Frank Gore, Randy Moss, and all those other guys whose names I can't even remember because Moss and Gore are so awesome, or at least, they have four-letter last names that are easier to remember, I digress... My offense will go out and eat other teams for dinner.

Reporter: Are you worried that your defense might crumble under some pressure?
Smith: I have no idea what you're talking about, did you see the big goose egg in the score today?

Reporter: Why did you decide to take a knee at the end of the game, instead of score?
Smith: Because we're not the goddamn Cowboys and we have some class, thank you. Look, I know you all want to talk to me some more, but I have a manicure scheduled, SMITH OUT!

In other news, apparently, the Atlanta Falcons are really good too, which makes sense, since I hear that Atlanta is a really gorgeous city. However, the Panthers are close to defeating them, which I hope they do, because I hate to see any team that is not the Packers go undefeated, ever.

--Time Passes--

I'm watching the TV, and now I see that the Packer game is delayed by 10 minutes, which I guess is cool, since this Panther/Falcon game is still pretty intense, but it also makes me think hella swear words. There are like 14 seconds left in this game, and I'm pissed at Carolina for not being better.

--Time Passes--

The Packer game started, and I actually miss the crappy officials, because more flags meant more craziness, and more fun. Of course, I also judge team goodness based on how much I like their hometown, so my opinion may not be valid. I urge my none readers to not assume this to be because I am a woman, but rather, understand that I have this opinion because I'm a crazy person, raised by other crazy people, full stop.

--Time Passes--

So, halftime has ended, and I'm just not feeling this game. Maybe I'm liking the 49ers too much, maybe this game is feeling too normal, I'm not sure. They keep pointing out Clay Matthews, and I'm not sure why, unless they want to encourage me to think certain thoughts about him, and that lovely blond hair. I'm sure that it isn't that, since they don't even know me - I'm not even sure if I know who they are, anyway. This game needs to either become more interesting, or end with a Green Bay win. I'd prefer both, but I'd be happy with the latter.

--Time Passes--

Well, the game got more interesting, and New Orleans seems on its way to their first win. How painfully annoying. Oakland also lost to the Broncos, my least favorite team of my favorite division in the Conference that I don't like.

--Time Passes--

But after some crazy, crazy activities, the Packers eeked out a win, then they took me to the end of a game between a former division rival, and a team that I kind of wish didn't exist, in my least favorite division. Our former division rivals are up by a single point, and I hope they keep it, and block this field goal, but, whatever. In other news, the StupidSeahawks LOST this week, so... nyah. And with that, I think I need a nap, or something.

Post Sunday Night Game Announcement - the only team in the NFC East that I like won tonight, against one of the other teams in the NFC East. Hooray!