Going for Two: Quarterback Beauty Pageant Teasers

I'm deep into collecting photos of the 7 final, final, finalists for the judges to assess this round. In the meantime, I've discovered that Sports Illustrated already declared my boyfriend as the fairest of them all, at least in terms of his profile photo. I can't really disagree with that assessment, but being Mr. NFL Quarterback 2015, however, is about a lot more than a profile photo.

It shouldn't be a surprise that Alex Smith made this round, but what is surprising is the amount of plaid he wears. The only time I've seen more plaid is on a photo album from an old college friend and his husband. They wear a LOT of plaid, but in their defense, they do live in Minnesota.  

Two of these might not technically be plaid, but it's a plaid spirit.

Cam Newton is another final, final, finalist, and his press conference fashion is significantly more interesting. 1, 2, and 4 below aren't bad, but somehow, the look in number 3 makes me think he lost a bet or something. Maybe he mixed up the petite pants with the tall pants that he wore for number 1?

You wish you looked this good. Actually, that's mean, I'm sure you look just fine. 

Andy Dalton's teaser entry comes from his successful effort to take a Tonight Show joke full circle and meet with his "dad". This was also the superlative that he read on the segment where NFL players read their own. A sense of humor goes a long way, and Dalton certainly needs one. The Red Rifle is the butt of many more jokes and memes online than any of the other final, final, finalists. Regarding fashion, Dalton appears to fall a little flat. During an appearance where he read the weather on a Cincinnati morning show, he was in an ill-fitting t-shirt, and otherwise, he's in a bland suit or another t-shirt. Sometimes, a polo or leather jacket. That won't really take away from his score, since this is a beauty pageant, not a fashion show. Dalton has enough in other areas that he has little to worry about. He got to this round, after all.

I don't even have to make a photo-spread for Russell Wilson. GQ did one for me, and for every other red-blooded American. Thank you, and you're welcome.

Thank you, Russell Wilson, thank YOU.

Only one back-up QB made this round, and you all know who that was.

He's beautiful, and you're a loser! Sorry, that was mean too, you're cool.

The only problem with that was finding enough street clothes photos of him that do not compare him to Robert Pattinson, which, for the record, is not why I like him. Mostly... Look, Twilight, Schwilight, it's not like the guy wasn't attractive. Actually, Osweiler is probably better looking than Pattinson. Anyway, here are the best photos I was able to cobble up.

Stafford made the top cut as well, and he's really lucky that style isn't as important. Really, really lucky. Photos of him and his very, very happy, and a little smug, looking spouse on vacation at the beach are much more interesting, but I went with the grey press conference collage here.

I get it, he only wears a suit when the Lions win.

And finally, the final of the final, final, finalists. Aaron Rodgers certainly has some interesting photos online. He doesn't wear costumes as often as Alex Smith and his family, but he did win Celebrity Jeopardy and experimented with odd - or, rather creepy - facial hair at one point.

I don't know what he has in the bottom left, why he's drinking a grape Crush, or what's up with the bolo tie, but I like it.

And there you have it, the seven final, final, finalists. Now excuse me, um, the judges need to deliberate now.