Going for Two: Quarterback Beauty Pageant 2015 Rules

As I watch the 2015 Prob[e] Owl, I am preparing for the most important contest of the NFL season: the NFL Quarterback Beauty Pageant (QBBP) of 2015. This pageant will combine QB stats and my completely objective assessment* of QB attractiveness to determine which of this year's 53 starting NFL quarterbacks will be awarded Mr. NFL Quarterback 2015.

I've identified the starting QBs and how many Regular Season games they started. The list is divided by number of starts, which might have bearing on final points, or maybe not, whatever. This is only taking Regular Season starts into account. Playoff and Pro Bowl participation may or may not count for something. I haven't figured it all out yet.

Most (>12)	Many (5-12)	Few (<5)
#3 Palmer, Carson (ARI)	#8 Mariota, Marcus (TEN)	#9 Romo, Tony (DAL)
#2 Ryan, Matt (ATL)	#7 Roethlisberger, Ben (PIT)	#5 Weeden, Brandon (HOU)
#1 Newton, Cam (CAR)	#5 Foles, Nick (STL)	#7 Mettenberger, Zach (TEN)
#6 Cutler, Jay (CHI)	#5 Flacco, Joe (BAL)	#5 McCarron, AJ (CIN)
#9 Stafford, Matthew (DET)	#18 Manning, Peyton (DEN)	#2 Vick, Mike (PIT)
#12 Rodgers, Aaron (GB)	#7 Hoyer, Brian (HOU)	#2 Clausen, Jimmy (BAL)
#5 Bortles, Blake (JAX)	#13 McCown, Josh (CLE)	#8 Schaub, Matt (BAL)
#11 Smith, Alex (KC)	#8 Hasselbeck, Matt (IND)	#3 Manuel, EJ (BUF)
#17 Tannehill, Ryan (MIA)	#2 Gabbert, Blaine (SF)	#7 Davis, Austin (CLE)
#5 Bridgewater, Teddy (MIN)	#7 Kaepernick, Colin (SF)	#17 Moore, Kellen (DAL)
#12 Brady, Tom (NE)	#16 Cassel, Matt (DAL)	#6 Yates, T.J. (HOU)
#10 Manning, Eli (NYG)	#17 Osweiler, Brock (DEN)	#3 Sanchez, Mark (PHI)
#14 Fitzpatrick, Ryan (NYJ)	#12 Luck, Andrew (IND)	#3 Jones, Landry (PIT)
#4 Carr, Derek (OAK)	#7 Mallett, Ryan (BAL)	#5 Freeman, Josh (IND)
#17 Rivers, Philip (SD)	#2 Manziel, Johnny (CLE)	#7 McCown, Luke (NO)
#3 Wilson, Russell (SEA)	#17 Keenum, Case (STL)
#3 Winston, Jameis (TB)
#8 Cousins, Kirk (WAS)
#9 Brees, Drew (NO)
#5 Taylor, Tyrod (BUF)
#7 Bradford, Sam (PHI)
#14 Dalton, Andy (CIN)

I also have their stats in a new spreadsheet, so the next task is to figure out just how to score them. For that, I am turning to the Miss America Judging Process for guidance. They have preliminary scores, which weed out the first 37 of their 52 contestants, and then final scores, which start with 15 contestants, then 12, 10, and finally 7.

I've taken the categories and the weighting and created my own equivalent system that combines the tangibles and the intangibles to create a completely unbiased process*. Below are the preliminary categories and weighting, which will determine the top 15 or 16 QBs to make it on to the finals.

	Ms America (for comparison)	QBBP
15%	Lifestyle and Fitness in Swimsuit	Conduct Offfield
20%	Evening Wear	NFL Profile Photo Assessment
35%	Talent	QB Rating
25%	Private Interview	Yards per game
5%	On-Stage Question	TDs/INTs

Later this week, I will reveal those 15 or 16 QBs in the final round, and how they will be judged. Stay tuned to find out just who is the fairest of them all.

*Cuz that's possible, lol

Going for Two: Conference Championship Blues

I felt it when New England didn't score on their first drive. I'd wondered why they elected to receive when they won the coin toss. The teevee always told me that Belichick liked to have the last possession of the first half and the first of the second. But the teevee said today that this decision secured "one more possession" for New England.

They should have gone with their normal procedure. Denver scored first, and New England kept punting, until that first touchdown. I figured that was the start of their eventual win, but then Mr. Perfect missed, and Denver was still leading. Scores kept happening, low scores, but New England was never in the lead. They should have gone for field goals on 4th down at least twice (or maybe just once, I forget) in the the 4th quarter. But they didn't. They didn't get the 2-point conversion, they didn't get the onside kick, and they didn't get the AFC Championship. That loss cost me one thousand theoretical dollars. Of course, as with every New England loss, it was worth it. And this one was so worth it. Oh, and this video is a thing of beauty.

Arizona was down 10 to nothing at the end of the first quarter, but Carolina going up early was to be expected. Arizona made a better showing than the Seahawks did, at least in the first half, but then fell apart as Carolina soared. The Panthers lulled us into a false security by not scoring in the second half last week. Or maybe it wasn't Arizona's year. Maybe that will be next year, for the first time in 70 years. Better than the Cubs, I guess.

So my Super Bowl prediction was completely wrong, but the one team that everyone thought was a lock lost, so it could be worse. It means that the 4th worst possible outcome of these Playoffs was prevented. Fourth or fifth, or something, whatever, but the other worst outcomes had already been prevented. The last remaining worst outcomes are now out since the Patriots aren't going to Super Bowl 50.

I would have liked to see an Arizona and Denver Super Bowl, and I would like to see Peyton Manning go out on top, but it won't happen. Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly care for Manning, but as I told a friend earlier today, anyone that unfortunate looking has my sympathy, at least. Denver may have the best defense, but these last two weeks have convinced me. Carolina is going to kick their ass.

Going for Two: Conference Championship Power Ranks

They kept mentioning cheeseburgers and not doing this.

I've made the bed, wrapped the late presents, washed most of the dishes, did 50 minutes on my exercise bike, made the graphic that HAD to be made, showered, and did a load of laundry. It's finally the weekend, which means that I can work on my computer during the day, with a sleeping, instead of hyperactive, kitty at my side.  My Power Ranks are done, complete with commentary for each team.

As always, my rank is the first one, and the one in parentheses is the NFL Power Rank.

1 (3)	Arizona	No surprise here, at least on my end. The calculation added points to Arizona based on their win, and they already had the most points. The NFL downgraded them because they nearly lost to the lowest ranking remaining team in the NFC, but the thing is, they didn't lose. They barely struggled in overtime, and the only reason it got to overtime was some crazy miracle plays by the Packers. Yeah, yeah, Randall Cobb, blah blah blah, loss in week 17, I don't care. Arizona is amazing and that is all.
2 (2)	New England +1	So the Patriots won, yeah, we all know. They're probably going to their 8th Super Bowl in 15 years, yawn....
3 (6)	Seattle -1	Seattle nearly came back from a MASSIVE first half deficit, so they have a good chance of winning this we.... wait a minute, this is the playoffs, what is a losing team doing this high in the ranks? Well, it's the calculation, which doesn't give points for losses, but did have Seattle at #2 last week. The low margins of victory had a lot to do with this. Seattle is good, but the NFL might be right after all, and it is possible that Carolina is better. I'm still skeptical, and I think that the field conditions were partially to blame. Yeah, they both played on the same field, but I think Carolina had been prepared for it in the first half. Then again, not being prepared is a point against Seattle. Oh well, better luck next year.
4 (1)	Carolina +1	Well, I was not prepared for THAT. Or that, or anything else that happened in the first half. I'm a little less confident about Arizona this week, but that second half gives me hope. They shut out Seattle for the first 30 minutes, then got shut out in the last 30. There is something to be said for their clock management, and not going for broke just for some extra points, however, had they scored a touchdown or just 2 field goals in the second half, they would be #3 on my list this week.
5 (5)	Kansas City -1	Kansas City, like Seattle, is still riding out high ranks from recent weeks and finds itself second place among the losers, but still ranked higher than a winning team. 11 straight wins from my boyfriend - apparently, that's never been done before, at least after losing 5 games in a row. Maybe next year? Just change the name first.
6 (4)	Denver +1	The NFL and I agree that Denver should be the lowest ranking of the winning teams, at least, My trainer, or rather former trainer, since I have a new one, said that Peyton wasn't a very good clutch quarterback. A clutch quarterback is one that can be called on to win when it counts the most, and it seems that the elder Manning freezes in the spotlight. Interestingly, the younger Manning is the best clutch quarterback, probably because all the pressure was put on Peyton as a child, and Eli just did his thing. Effing younger siblings.
7 (7)	Green Bay -1	The NFL and I agree here. For the record, had the Packers won, I would have tagged Gin and Tacos and declared "SUCK MY LEFT TIT, ED! GO PACK GO!" However, they didn't win, and no, changing the overtime rules wouldn't have helped, Clay. You left Fitzgerald open, and the better team won. Go back to outside linebacker and focus on next season.
8 (8)	Pittsburgh	Just like the other sixth seed that made it past the Wild Card with a stroke of luck, the Steelers weren't able to defeat the so-called best. Goodbye Rapistburger.

Going for Two: Conference Championship Interim Post

I wanted to post earlier this week, but even now, I am typing one-handed while my my other hand dangles a toy for my beloved Bruno. This cat, I swear. I waved a toy or flashed the laser toy for almost the entire Packer game last weekend and he would STILL cry when I stopped doing anything. And I could handle the crying (or meowing) if I wasn't worried about what always happened after the meowing, which was knocking things over. My poor baby is bored, I know, but he has a million toys, seriously. Anyway, I have found the NFL Power Rankings for this week, and the NFL is still in love with Carolina. After that opening half, I'm less inclined to think they are wrong. I still think Arizona will win, but that isn't stopping me from hedging my picks. I'm putting Carolina as my Gut pick, but I'm not doing the same for Denver. It's possible that Denver could win, and FSM knows that I want them to, I just don't think they will. New England is going to the Super Bowl, there isn't really much we can do about it other than enjoy a Disappointed Brady Google Image Search.

He used to entertain himself.

Anyway, Bruno just knocked over the box of markers, and while he's laid down for the moment, he's looking at me - oh, he's up now. What I mean is that I can't post my Power Ranks yet. I need to stop typing because my 14-pound fur baby needs me. 

Going for Two: Divisional Round Review

With my first two picks being accurate this weekend, I was going to hold off on blogging lest it jinx me, but with Seattle down 31 to nothing at the half, I've got nothing to lose. Saturday was very bittersweet, since I predicted New England and Arizona, and they both won, but I would have been perfectly happy with them losing. With the AFC game, it was more about New England losing and a partial desire to see my boyfriend succeed. As for the other game, a Packer win would have wreaked havoc with my predictions, but it would have had me jumping for joy. As it was, I'm happy for the Cardinals, cuz it's their year.

The best part of last night's game had to be trash talking in the comments section of my favorite blogger's Facebook threads. Before the Week 16 game, he had asked if the Packers and their fans had "ever considered sucking it", though it appears that he has removed that post. Regardless, when he warned readers that he was about to go all football for a few hours, I opted to respond in kind.

Miracles can only win games so often.

Ed confessed his fear of A-A-Ron, expressed surprise at all the 3rd down conversions from the Packers, whined about missed calls, whined about his team,  gave up, bitched about Cris Collinsworth, but mostly about missed calls, dropped a few posts that have since been removed, and finally, expressed his appreciation for Wisconsin. He lost a few dozen followers with that night, but what a night it was. In the end, the better team won. I kind of wished that Larry Fitzgerald had finished his spectacular run in the end zone, but at least he got the TD in the end.

When Ed gave up, I saw a comment further down-thread that made an egregious false comparison. I made a short reply last night, then followed up this morning. This comment was researched and took about an hour to construct. The response I got was, simply, Touché, which not enough people use. Below is the comment, in its entirety, with sources linked.

In terms of their respective rank in their conferences, yes. KC and GB had impressive victories over the champions of the two garbage divisions. They both went to the home stadium of the number 2 seed and were projected to lose. They both scored 20 points, nearly came back to win, and lost by a touchdown. They both have very attractive quarterbacks (though while I <3 Alex Smith, in terms of skill, he is no A-A-Ron), but that is where the similarities, for the most part, end. There might be similarities between the Patriots and the Cardinals, but they're not important. The Patriots won their 4th Super Bowl last year (Super Bowl XLIX, or ex-lix, as I like to call it) and have been to 4 others. In the last 14 Super Bowls, half of them have included the New England Patriots, and they're probably going to Super Bowl 50. In that same time, the Cardinals have made the playoffs four times, including their only Super Bowl appearance, which they lost in 2008. They have not won an NFL Championship since they were the Chicago Cardinals in 1947. The other difference is that New England is getting a little stale this year, while Arizona is on fire. I'm predicting that they will get the Lombardi trophy in Super Bowl 50, and while this is my first year doing serious NFL predictions, I'm 6 for 6 in the playoffs and 68% on the regular season (which I'm told is good).

For the record, Ed was not actually done.

Kansas City started the season in a massive hole, while Green Bay was playing like a championship team. The former team went on to win 11 straight games, while the Packers lost to the Lions, Bears, and Vikings *at home.* Kansas City won one Super Bowl, in 1969, which was the last of the two that they have been to. In the last 15 years (14 Super Bowls), they have been to the playoffs 5 times, and have only gotten to the Divisional Round twice. The Packers, on the other hand, have 4 Super Bowl wins in 5 appearances, have made the postseason 12 times since the 2001 season, have been in 8 Divisional Round games, and three Conference Championship games. It is much more like KC=ARI and NE=GB. I could write you at least one more paragraph about how that last comparison doesn't hold up, but I've had my fun this morning for this thread.

And in the time it took me to write this post (and exercise, shower, and make plans with friends), Seattle came back to lose, like the other two losers this week, by a single touchdown. My record for the playoffs is now 6 & 1, and with only 4 more games left to go, I'm guaranteed to be over 500.

Going for Two: Offseason Antics Start Early

What is my problem with Chip Kelly? Objectively, I couldn't tell you. Subjectively, it's the name Chip. Then there were all the comments about how my friend's boyfriend, DeMarco Murray, didn't "fit in" with Chip Kelly's offense, for some reason. According to one Eagle player, he's a "dictator", and another friend heard the rumblings about accusations of racism, and even asperger's, the latter of course being no reason to dislike anyone.

DeMarco, can you hear me?

Perhaps the most important thing was his inability to reach the top of my least favorite division with DeMarco and a former Heisman winner at QB of the only NFC East team that I like. So when he was fired, I sent the article that other friend, who I met when I lived in the SF Bay Area. Later, he shared another coach firing with me, where I had a whole new moment of NFL clairvoyance that wasn't revealed until 11 days later when San Francisco signed Chip Kelly. Jerry Rice disagrees with me, and he would know better, but I'm not very positive about this move. Kaepernick is a free agent this year, and my advice to him would be to jump ship. I've learned that Houston isn't nearly as bad as one might think, hint hint.

Going for Two: Wild Card Ranks and Divisional Picks

The NFL is once again hypnotized by a 15 & 1 record and a 30-0 blow out, never considering how easy it is to be undefeated when 5 of those games were against the Romo-less Dallas Cowboys, Jacksonville Jaguars, Tennessee Titans, and Tampa Bay, twice. Okay, so they defeated Seattle and the Packers, just barely, but the Falcons figured them out for the second round, and I can't imagine that the Seahawks won't also. As for Kansas City, well, that's all in my Power Ranks. As much as I <3 Alex "Not great, but good enough*" Smith, I'm not stupid. At least I know that New England won't shut them out.

My calculation for the Divisional Round has Seattle, Arizona, Denver, and New England. My Gut picks follow those, but I'm compelled to type GB where my brain says ARI should be. I can't help it, I feel a very 2010 vibration in the air.

1 (2)	Arizona +1	Arizona reclaimed the top spot by virtue of Seattle's slim win up in frozen TFC Stadium. For their sake, lets hope the rest did them well, because the Packers are coming to town with a chip on their shoulder and a whole mess of lessons learned.
2 (4)	Seattle -1	Seattle could still get back to the Super Bowl this year, especially after their demolition of the Carinals in Week 17, but it will take a lot more than a great catch and scrambling QB this time.
3 (6)	New England	The rest should have been good for New England, and they are taking on an overrated Kansas City. Still, it will warm my heart to see them lose this weekend.
4 (3)	Kansas City +5	Kansas City is not nearly as good as my rating implies. Had Weeden been put in, he might have put up 7, 10, or more points on the board, instead of turning the ball over on every single drive. In fact, if Houston had only scored a field goal in that game, Kansas City would be down at number 5 right now. Had they only won by 20, they'd be just below Green Bay.
5 (1)	Carolina -1	Carolina slips only because Kansas City is so overrated, but odds are that Seattle will steamroll over them.
6 (7)	Green Bay	The Pack is BACK! Of course, they were playing the worst of all of the teams in the Playoffs this year, but they have already played Arizona and now have something to prove. Is this a repeat of the 2010 post-season? Packer fans can only hope.
7 (5)	Denver +1	Denver edged up again by virtue of the slim win of the team just beneath them, which happens to be coming to town this weekend. Denver has a stronger defense than the Bengals, but the quarterback situation is a tricky one.
8 (8)	Pittsburgh -1	The Steelers broke many Bengals hearts over the weekend. Well, sort of. The Bengals broke many Bengals hearts this weekend with bonehead mistakes and letting their emotions overrule their skill. Pittsburgh and Denver are nearly evenly matched in my calculation. Is this a repeat of the 2010 post-season? Packer fans can only hope.
9 (9)	Minnesota -4	Poor, poor Minestrone. They are the first of the losers on my list. They lost by a mistake made by the same guy that was responsible for all of their points during the game. However, if they were actually a better team, they would have scored at least one touchdown and Blair Walsh wouldn't be crying himself to sleep right now. But then again, that means that I couldn't watch these every day (and I do, they're beautiful).
10 (10)	Cincinnati	Again, can we say boneheaded? Exactly, Cinci, you made your own bed, now man up and lie in it. Maybe next year, you'll have some discipline and be able to win a primetime game.
11 (12)	Houston	As it was explained to me today, it appears that the Texans coach threw Hoyer under the bus. Had he been taken out in the second quarter, Weeden could have finished a few drives and put some points on the board.
12 (11)	Washington	And we saved the worst for last. This team is thankfully out of the playoffs this year. Let's hope that Cousins is snatched up by another team in Free Agency and they return to the bottom of the barrel.

*That's a quote from a Kansas City fan that came down to near where my tickets were.

Going for Two: Wild Card Wonders

We were a little late to the first game of the Wild Card weekend, but overheard "106 yards" in reference to the kickoff, and knew that Kansas City was the team that must have ran the kick-off back for a touchdown. We found our section and then began the long descent down to row C and to our seats. It was surreal to me, being so close to something I've mostly seen on TV. Even the games I've been to were high up in Lambeau, and toward a corner. But now, I was right there, and there was JJ Watt, and OMG, ALEX SMITH!

GO TEXANS!!!

There was hope in the first half, and there was excitement. When the screen told us to get loud, we GOT LOUD!! But the murmurs about Hoyer got louder too after turnover after blown drive after turnover and soon enough, I was chanting "We Want Weeden!" along with the loudest of them, all to no avail. Apparently, the coach never even considered taking Hoyer out, and maybe Weeden wasn't the savior that would have helped, but I can't imagine that he would have had a turnover on every. single. promising. drive. No, instead of giving us Weeden, the Texans didn't score any points and lost by 30. There was a disgusting thing that one of the Kansas City players did that had me screaming "EJECT HIM FROM THE GAME" and "#*$& YOU FISHER". However, what I saw as an egregious and unnecessary act - as did many others in the stands - appears to be nothing more than, at worst, a "dirty play" to the rest of the world. And after that, Watt was out of the game, but with a groin injury.

I wish you played for another team, and not Washington.

With 6 minutes left to go, I decided to go to the Kansas City sideline for a closer look at my boyfriend, and a closer look did I get. ::swoon:: The backup QB was in and kneeled down for the final time and we went back up the stairs to board the train and head back to Midtown, one of my calculation picks being right.

We saw parts of the Pittsburgh at Cincinnati game, with sleet, or rain, or snow, and a closer, more exciting game at hand. We did catch the final few minutes of the game, and all Cincinnati had to do was hold Pittsburgh back from field goal range and they would win, but they couldn't do that. A bad hit by a Bengal led to penalty yards for the Steelers, and they won by two points, proving my prediction right for the second game.

Today, we missed kick-off again, since my friend and I were out for breakfast, but we got back in time for the second half, with Minnesota up by 3 to 0. Then the Vikings got two more field goals before Wilson missed the snap. As he scrambled and picked up the ball, Tyler Lockett paid attention and stayed open to receive the Wilson pass and got inside the Vikings 5 yard line! Soon enough, the Seahawks had 7 points on the board, and then they had 10, but Minestrone was making a comeback and was in field goal range.

LACES OUT!!!! LACES OUT! Did you learn NOTHING from Ace Ventura?!?

I saw the set-up, with the kicker kicking into the sunlight, and I had a feeling. Maybe it was my hopes, because I needed Seattle to win and really wanted Minnesota to lose, but I think it was the sunlight. That kick sailed wide left, and another one of my picks was correct. After that, I took my friend to the airport. When I got back, I put the Green Bay game on for a little while, but went back and forth between the game and the NFL Network. Eventually, I had the game on mute with Rifftrax on my computer. The Packers were down by 5 when I got home, then Washington got a touchdown. I hoped they would blow the extra point, and they did, but they were up by 11. After that, however, Green Bay became Green Bay again, and scored 17 unanswered points.  YOU LIKE THAT! WE ALL LIKE THAT! Washington got another touchdown and made the extra point, but it didn't matter, because the Packers responded with 18 more points to make my calculation 100% accurate this week! WOOOOOOOOOO PACKERS! PACKERS WON THE SUPER BOWL WILD CARD GAME!

Going for Two: Wild Card Shoulda Coulda Didn't

It's easy to give Kansas City a pass because their mascot isn't a racial slur and their imagery is significantly more subtle (though still an appropriation) than Washington. I'm also not prone to watching Kansas City or Washington games, so I'm not familiar with their fans' activity, but I suspected that it wasn't good.

Yesterday, I had a unique opportunity to attend the Kansas City at Houston playoff game and had seats in the third row of the "Bull Pen", which was right behind the uprights in the north end zone. And as everyone who reads this blog knows, Alex Smith is my Football Boyfriend, so I made a sign that said "I <3 you Alex Smith" on one side. On the other side, it said, "but not your team Go Texans," with "Change the Name" and "#NotYourMascots" in smaller print.

Well, as my calculation and my benchmarks predicted, Kansas City won the game. Since the still-probably-concussed Hoyer was never taken out of the game, they shut out the Texans, so most Texans fans left the game by the 4th quarter. The few Kansas City fans then moved down closer to the games, and a large contingent of them were down on the KC sideline. With about 6 minutes left, I decided to go down there too so I could again share my feelings with Alex Smith. I held my sign in front of my red Texans shirt, with the Alex Smith side facing forward, and was successfully camouflaged in the 6th row. Yelling "I love you, Alex Smith!" a few times sealed the deal.

This was another unique opportunity, this time to be in one of the most uncomfortable crowds I've ever been in, complete with white people in headdresses and face-paint. As I learned earlier in the game, football crowds often do the "First Down" hand symbol when their team gets one, and that symbol is an awful lot like the "Tomahawk Chop". Down among the crowd of primarily white Kansas City fans, they accompanied that hand gesture with that chant. I grimaced whenever that happened, and hopefully, that grimace made it on to one fan's attempt to get a video of the whole affair.

I contemplated telling people how racist all of this was. I contemplated moving the paper with "Change the Name" and "#NotYourMascots" from the Texans side of my sign to the Alex Smith side (it was taped on). I even contemplated somehow telling one of the headdress guys that he was being incredibly offensive by wearing the formal clothing of another culture as a costume for entertainment value. I contemplated all of these things, but I did nothing, absolutely nothing.

The fact is that I was too scared to make waves - it was scary to have those messages on the Texans side of my sign while among Texans fans. I'm nervous posting about this so much on this blog too, because I abhor arguments. I end up getting too angry, my heart rate goes up, and my ability to make effective arguments plummets. At the end of the day, however, it's still an important issue. I won't stop talking about it until it's no longer an issue, because I know how this affects real people. Next time I'm in this situation, I hope I will have more courage.

Going for Two: Playoff Preview

I can end the speculation and the maybes: I have two tickets to Reliant Stadium for Saturday's game. When I first contemplated going to the game, I figured I'd be in a higher section, maybe on the sidelines, but probably in a corner. Then I learned that they were in the north end zone, third row, but I still assumed corner. Instead, no, they're in the center, right between the uprights When the players jump in the stands, I will be able to touch them! I'm not sure that I know anyone who has had this opportunity.

I'll be in that blue circle.

But now for my Power Rankings, with NFL Power Rank in parentheses. A couple points I want to make:
1. Being in the playoffs does not a top-12 team make. Sometimes, in the NFL, the better teams stay home.
2. Seeding schmeeding: these ranks are about which teams are better than others, not those with better records.
3. I won't write things for all teams, just all of the teams in order until I reach the last of the 12 playoff teams.

1 (2)	Seattle +4	Well, Seattle did defeat Arizona, and not only that, they did to Arizona what Arizona did to Green Bay the week before. They may be ready to go back to the Super Bowl for a third year after all. They will be in Minnesota for the Wild Card round, where they handed the Vikings their ass. With the final results in, the Seahawks now have won by the most points (19.9) and lost by the fewest (5.5). Has the Legion of Boom returned just in time for another Lombardi trophy?
2 (3)	Arizona -1	I don't think anyone was expecting this outcome. Sorry Cardinals, though you should have a chance for revenge in the Conference Championship.
3 (6)	New England -1	This was always a possibility, of course, but it came as a surprise to everyone. Now, New England has to go to Denver for the Peyton and Brock show if they even make it to the Conference Championship this year. Is it possible that they peaked too soon?
4 (1)	Carolina	And Carolina finally broke the pattern and managed a 15 & 1 season after all. Though, with the second easiest schedule in the league, it isn't as much of an accomplishment as everyone might think. My new calculation has them repeating the fate of the 2011 Packers this year.
5 (9)	Minnesota +3	You know what? The Vikings still suck, and they'll lose to Seattle next week, the end.
6 (11)	Green Bay -3	The first time the Lions, Bears, and Vikings win in Lambeau in the same season since 1969 and the Packers are STILL number 6? I can only pray that they win in Washington, but I don't pray, so it might be hopeless.
7 (7)	Pittsburgh	Well, Pittsburgh, you're in. Don't waste it.
8 (5)	Denver -2	It's not so much that Denver is worse than they were the week before, but it was the meteoric rise of Minnesota and Seattle that brought Denver down. And it's not so much that Brock was letting Denver down, but that the team just really needed Peyton.
9 (4)	Kansas City	They won, New England lost, but Denver won too, so Kansas City is in the Wild Card round. This means that my boyfriend is coming to Houston, and with my seats, he will see my sign telling him that I <3 him. It's going to be an amazing game.
10 (8)	Cincinnati +1	Cincinnati made it back to the top ten with a win over Baltimore, but Pittsburgh comes to town in the Wild Card round, and AJ is no Andy. It will be a good game, but it's liable to break some Bengal hearts.
11 (14)	New York Jets -1	Oh, Jets. Jets, Jets, Jets. You almost had the playoffs in your hand. You needed one more Fitzy touchdown and you were in, but instead, Ryan will be sitting at home, watching his former team in the playoffs. Better luck next year?
12 (12)	Houston +1	And now for the better of the two Champions of the garbage divisions, the Houston Texans. This team really turned it around after the bye week, and netted 7.1 points per game in this second season, after a first season with a net negative 3.1 points.They took what could have been a 6 & 10 season to one that could have been 12 & 4. I hope they can defeat Kansas City, but my boyfriend won't make it easy.
13 (13)	Buffalo -1	Buffalo played the spoiler this week, but they will still be sitting at home with an 8 & 8 record. In other news, I now have an opinion about this team: I hate them.
14 (19)	Atlanta	And here we have the first NFC team that makes this part of the list because a lower ranking team is in the playoffs. Except they too are at 8 & 8, and what could have been a stellar season has ended in Week 17. Better luck next year. Just make sure Julio Jones sticks around.
15 (10)	Washington	You know, Kirk, I would like that. I would like your enthusiasm, your skill, and your being the host to my Packers in the Wild Card round if you weren't running all over and making a mockery of Native American culture, if your mascot didn't perpetuate the image of Native Americans as being part of the past, instead of real people that exist today. I'd enjoy this game if I didn't have to listen to a racial slur repeated over and over. #*$& this team, and the same to the rest of the NFC East teams that couldn't be good enough to represent the other garbage division.

And now the rest...

		22 (17)	New Orleans -1
		23 (18)	Indianapolis -1
		24 (15)	Detroit -1
		25 (25)	Tampa Bay -1
		26 (24)	Chicago -1
16 (20)	Philadelphia +1	27 (30)	Dallas
17 (21)	St. Louis -1	28 (27)	Jacksonville
18 (23)	Miami +8	29 (29)	San Diego
19 (28)	San Francisco +1	30 (31)	Cleveland
20 (22)	New York GIants -2	31 (26)	Baltimore
21 (16)	Oakland -2	32 (32)	Tennessee