Oh Yeah, Football: Week Ten Tears of Joy

Monday morning, or just after noon, I forget, I get a chat message at work. It's my Personal Trainer, asking how my projections changed based on Dallas not losing to Kansas City. It was yes and no because Jacksonville was still projected to win the Super Bowl, but now they were going to defeat Dallas. Then there was news that Elliot's suspension was canceled for the whole season and I really didn't realize what I had unleashed a few weeks ago. He even accused me of being a Cowboys fan on Tuesday, which was totally uncalled for. At least one person told me that I should have smacked him for that. Personally, I think the only proper reaction to that is a straight-on projectile vomit to the face.

In any case, now we are here in Week Ten and my prediction for Thursday was correct, but somehow it created a truly horrifying result in the predictions.

At that point, even a loss to the Falcons didn't keep Dallas out of the Super Bowl, though it was of the simple, projected kind.

But then, the Football Gods spoke. Perhaps it was Reggie White that looked favorably upon our world, reinstated Zeke's suspension and bequeathed upon us a Green Bay Packer WIN WITHOUT AARON RODGERS?!?!?!?! OMG, PACKERS WIN! GREEN BAY PACKERS WIN WITHOUT AARON RODGERS!

Honeycomb even managed to throw a touchdown pass! OMG OMG OMG I now want to cry again, but in a good way! Sure, we may only have one or two more wins on the season, but who cares? Certainly not me. We beat the Bears, we beat the Cowboys, everything's okay.

Okay, so wait, what? Where was I? Okay. So, other calculation predictions also came out accurately except the Jets beating Tampa Bay, but I figured that one would be wrong and it was time for the late games. I went back and forth between Dallas at Atlanta and Houston in LA and then Forensic Files when both were on commercial. It was at this point that my cable started being weird, so I tried to reset it, which did not work. I checked all of the cable connections, including out of the wall, into and out of the splicer, into and out of the cable box, and into the TV and they were good.

Then I reset it again, it didn't work, then I called the cable company. The outage in my area would be fixed by 8:45pm. So I went for a walk. I decided to hit up the gas station closest to me for a Topo Chico and noticed that, hey, the cable company was out there, actually working on the problem. But I had to walk, walk walk walk. My friend kept me up to date on the game. Prescott kept getting sacked and the Falcons got touchdowns! YES!

It was at HCC that I learned the final result and saw the cable truck driving away, which I assumed meant that the problem was fixed. I headed back over to the block and got some dinner from Spicy Girl. Now here I am, watching the completely predictable result of New England at Denver. After plugging all the numbers in, Dallas loses in the Wild Card round, the Divisi-, okay, Conference? Oh sweet Jesus no, the result is the same.

Even the Football Gods can't help us now.