Oh Yeah, Football: Week Thirteen Epiphany

This was the week I discovered how to work player injuries into my calculation and it made all the difference. This week, the calculation lined up exactly with the benchmark except for Minnesota and Atlanta. My calculation had Minnesota and the benchmark had Atlanta. Guess who won...

Oh Yeah, Football: Week Twelve Predictions

With three games happening tomorrow, I wanted to be sure I made my picks, and now, I have assessed them and can post them. I should probably get up, brush my teeth, then head to bed now, but my foot is being used as a bed for both of my kitties and I can't bear to wake them. Sure, it feels great, but I also know that, once woken, it's going to turn into a Cincinnati visit to Jacksonville up in here.

Visitor Home Calc Certainty and Comments MIN DET MIN Unsure. The stats look good for both. SD DAL DAL Weak. Only due to certain circumstances this year. NYG WAS WAS Strong. There is a possibility for an upset here. BUF KC KC Unsure. KC has a bad Specific Accuracy Rate here. TEN IND TEN Unsure. I think I may end up sticking with TEN CLE CIN CIN Very Strong. But I always suspect that this upset will happen. TB ATL ATL Strong. The teams are closer than one might think. MIA NE NE Very Strong. Very, very strong. CHI PHI PHI Very Strong. Oh, so so strong. CAR NYJ CAR Strong. The Jets have a surprising Specific Upset Rate here. NO LA NO Unsure. This should be a good game. I hedged here. SEA SF SEA Strong. Depends on the QB situation, in many ways. JAX ARI JAX Strong. My calculation loves Jacksonville, but I'm not that sure. DEN OAK OAK Unsure. I mean, they're both kinda sucking right now. GB PIT PIT Very Strong. ::loud, wailing sobs:: HOU BAL BAL Strong. Maybe not Very Strong, but Strong.

Oh Yeah, Football: Week Eleven Pickity Picks

Here's what my calculation says about Week 11 and what I think about it.

Visitor	Home	Pick	Certainty and Comments
TEN	PIT	PIT	Very Strong. Pittsburgh at home is good. The Overall and Specific rates point to this pick being accurate.
JAX	CLE	JAX	Very Strong. Very, very strong.
BAL	GB	BAL	Strong. ::sobbing::
ARI	HOU	HOU	Very Weak. Arizona is not on the up and up, but Houston is in freefall.
LA	MIN	LA	Unsure. Minnesota is at home, but both teams are very strong this year.
DET	CHI	DET	Unsure. Divisional rivals, Detroit usually wins, but I have a feeling. It could just be gas, but whatever.
WAS	NO	NO	Strong. It's possible that Washington could win, but New Orleans appears to be the NFC South team to beat.
KC	NYG	KC	Very Strong. Honesty, I always feel like it's better to go into the Bye week on a loss.
TB	MIA	MIA	Weak. Neither team is very good and one benchmark contradicts me.
BUF	SD	BUF	Weak. San Diego appears to be doing well, quite unlike Buffalo.
CIN	DEN	DEN	Strong. As bad as Denver is, I think Cincinnati is worse.
NE	OAK	NE	Very Strong. Once the favorite, Oakland is just inconsistent. New England, however, calls the shots.
PHI	DAL	DAL	Unsure. I'm skeptical about Philly's success.
ATL	SEA	SEA	Unsure. Jesus Christ, I don't know.

Okay, bed time.

Oh Yeah, Football: Week Ten Tears of Joy

Monday morning, or just after noon, I forget, I get a chat message at work. It's my Personal Trainer, asking how my projections changed based on Dallas not losing to Kansas City. It was yes and no because Jacksonville was still projected to win the Super Bowl, but now they were going to defeat Dallas. Then there was news that Elliot's suspension was canceled for the whole season and I really didn't realize what I had unleashed a few weeks ago. He even accused me of being a Cowboys fan on Tuesday, which was totally uncalled for. At least one person told me that I should have smacked him for that. Personally, I think the only proper reaction to that is a straight-on projectile vomit to the face.

In any case, now we are here in Week Ten and my prediction for Thursday was correct, but somehow it created a truly horrifying result in the predictions.

At that point, even a loss to the Falcons didn't keep Dallas out of the Super Bowl, though it was of the simple, projected kind.

But then, the Football Gods spoke. Perhaps it was Reggie White that looked favorably upon our world, reinstated Zeke's suspension and bequeathed upon us a Green Bay Packer WIN WITHOUT AARON RODGERS?!?!?!?! OMG, PACKERS WIN! GREEN BAY PACKERS WIN WITHOUT AARON RODGERS!

Honeycomb even managed to throw a touchdown pass! OMG OMG OMG I now want to cry again, but in a good way! Sure, we may only have one or two more wins on the season, but who cares? Certainly not me. We beat the Bears, we beat the Cowboys, everything's okay.

Okay, so wait, what? Where was I? Okay. So, other calculation predictions also came out accurately except the Jets beating Tampa Bay, but I figured that one would be wrong and it was time for the late games. I went back and forth between Dallas at Atlanta and Houston in LA and then Forensic Files when both were on commercial. It was at this point that my cable started being weird, so I tried to reset it, which did not work. I checked all of the cable connections, including out of the wall, into and out of the splicer, into and out of the cable box, and into the TV and they were good.

Then I reset it again, it didn't work, then I called the cable company. The outage in my area would be fixed by 8:45pm. So I went for a walk. I decided to hit up the gas station closest to me for a Topo Chico and noticed that, hey, the cable company was out there, actually working on the problem. But I had to walk, walk walk walk. My friend kept me up to date on the game. Prescott kept getting sacked and the Falcons got touchdowns! YES!

It was at HCC that I learned the final result and saw the cable truck driving away, which I assumed meant that the problem was fixed. I headed back over to the block and got some dinner from Spicy Girl. Now here I am, watching the completely predictable result of New England at Denver. After plugging all the numbers in, Dallas loses in the Wild Card round, the Divisi-, okay, Conference? Oh sweet Jesus no, the result is the same.

Even the Football Gods can't help us now.

Oh Yeah, Football: Week Nine Wrap Up

On Wednesday, November 1, as I left my local haunt, I reminded the newest waiter and former runner, Evan, of the valuable lesson he learned about waiting tables that night, one that I happened to witness earlier. Me: So, Evan, what did you learn today? Evan (a Texans fan): I learned that if I make fun of Rodgers' injury, my quarterback gets hurt. Tbh, that wasn't a bad lesson either. Not that I'm happy about Watson's injury. After so many years of chaos, to have a star under Center (even though he usually wasn't directly under Center) was so nice to see. But alas, Week 9 was back to the usual for the Texans.

Best part of the Texans game, by far.

On the other hand, Houston was a little distracted this week, especially on Friday. I maybe saw an inning or two of the World Series this year and I don't recognize a single Astros player, but who can resist a parade?

WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS, BABY! #Astros #Houston #WorldSeries

A post shared by Ursula Ann (@ursalicious) on Nov 3, 2017 at 2:52pm PDT

Oh Yeah, Football: Week Eight Call It Caught Up

After a fantastic Friday and sh*tty Saturday, I had a good Sunday, starting on a walk around 9:30am. Unlike yesterday, I went Pokewalking east, down Truxillo to La Branch. I circled up to Baldwin Park, Dolce Delights, then the Museum District before finally hitting up Natacheese and ordered the special, to go. From text message updates from my friend E, it sounded like my calculated picks were doing quite well, with Atlanta winning, New England holding on, and Philly routing the 49ers. Finally, around 4pm and with over 14,500 steps, I got home and settled in to sit until bedtime.

"An important job today is trying to keep those balls dry."

My calculation has done more than quite well, with 100% accuracy today. One hundred percent, 11 for 11. I was wrong about Thursday night and there is one more game, so the worst I can do now is 85%. But this also means that my weird Super Bowl prediction remains in place. On one hand, I like that it doesn't just put the two first seeds in the big game. On the other hand, seriously?

Some of the teams end up with the same records, so the seeding is a little flexible, but it doesn't seem to matter. Jacksonville always defeats the Rams in SBLII. Always, always ALWAYS.

Oh Yeah, Football: Week Six Oh Gawd No

Another weekend, another round of games. I was in the process of adopting a cat and a few other dramas so I canceled my Persian lesson and got through my three day weekend without any driving. I also did a lot of work on my new Calculation Analysis spreadsheet, which gives me the percent accuracy of my calculation per team, based on the point advantage of the picked team. More on that later.

I was chilling at home, watching one of the early games, when I heard it. Aaron was hurt and was carted off the field. He could be out for the season.

No NO NOOOOOOOOOOO! It was a collarbone too, and shades of Tony Romo* and RG3 came flashing to my eyes. I swear I saw it in Rodgers' face on that cart too. Could it be the start of the end of the era? Two decades is a long time to always be a playoff caliber team (save a couple of off years). Are we due for 2, 3, 5, or 10 years in the shit house, or could Brett Hefferwisen be our next best thing?

I'll be honest, this was the first Brett that came to my mind.

On the other hand, this could be the shot in the arm the Packers need. I think back to mid-season last year, when I realized that they needed to win out the rest of the season to even have a chance at the playoffs. When this was appropriate. I hoped that would make them regroup, get a few different free agents, and stop relying on the Hail Mary as a game strategy. But then they did win out and learned nothing.

Well, now Aaron is gone, so they have to learn something, right?

In any case, this week also produced some great memes. Please excuse me and pay no mind to the loud wailing sobs.

Here's to the All-Star IR Team :'(

Oh, yeah, and regarding the Cowboys last week and my trolling, I still have no regrets.

*When he was a QB, not God's gift to football announcing.

Oh Yeah, Football: Week Uh, Week One Redo?

If it's not one thing, it's another. The rounding on my calculation wasn't working right so I have a slightly different Super Bowl prediction.

Wild Card

Wild Card

N6

SEA

Divisional

Divisional

KC

A6

N3

CAR

Conference

Conference

NE

A3

N3

CAR

N1

DAL

OAK

A1

NE

A3

N1

DAL

NFC

Super Bowl

AFC

OAK

A1

N4

ARI

OAK

OAK

A1

N2

MIN

Champions

PIT

A2

N5

NYG

N4

ARI

PIT

A2

IND

A5

N4

ARI

IND

A5

N4

ARI

HOU

A4

Sorry to have missed Weeks Four and Five. I certainly have plenty to say, but life is much busier these days. In other news, I went to the dentist last weekend for the first time in [longer than recommended] and I had NO CAVITIES! WOOOOOOOOOO!