Monday, November 26, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Twelve
I'm almost over this damn cold. Oakland sucks, and I hate the Giants. ::RAGE::
No, seriously, Oakland is absolutely terrible at the football. They are so bad, but they did get some points on the board, so they won't be completely embarrassed.
In another game, apparently, the Chicago/Minnesota game was such a blow-out for the Bears, that FOX took us to the Atlanta/Tampa Bay game. But they were playing an iPad Mini commercial, so I changed the channel.
I'm having a football-related existential crisis, maybe.
--Time Passes, Early Games End, Blogger Has Coffee and Talks to Mother--
This might be my worst week ever. So far, my accuracy is 64% for the 11 games played, and I do not have enough faith in the Rams of the 49ers to win their games today, like they should. I have more faith in the Ravens, if only because they are a mysterious team to me. I know very little about Baltimore, including where it is geographically. It always seemed, to me, like it was kind of "in the middle" of the United States, but apparently, it is also really close to Washington D.C., which I don't see as "in the middle". I also have no idea what really happens in Baltimore, or what Baltimore is known for, other than industry and unions, or something. And the team name - Ravens - just oozes mystery. The Ravens are like this dark force that just descends onto an opposing team, and suddenly declares victory, like the Vashta Nerada of the NFL.
The other problem is that I still can't settle on a pick for the Giants/Packers game tonight. The Packers are a better team than the Giants, but the Giants are conniving little jerks that have a way of defeating teams when it matters most. If all things were equal, then this should make me appreciate the Giants more, and I did, when they effing things up for the New England Patriots when they almost had an undefeated season. But really, that was just because I dislike the New England Patriots so much.
No, seriously, Oakland is absolutely terrible at the football. They are so bad, but they did get some points on the board, so they won't be completely embarrassed.
In another game, apparently, the Chicago/Minnesota game was such a blow-out for the Bears, that FOX took us to the Atlanta/Tampa Bay game. But they were playing an iPad Mini commercial, so I changed the channel.
I'm having a football-related existential crisis, maybe.
--Time Passes, Early Games End, Blogger Has Coffee and Talks to Mother--
This might be my worst week ever. So far, my accuracy is 64% for the 11 games played, and I do not have enough faith in the Rams of the 49ers to win their games today, like they should. I have more faith in the Ravens, if only because they are a mysterious team to me. I know very little about Baltimore, including where it is geographically. It always seemed, to me, like it was kind of "in the middle" of the United States, but apparently, it is also really close to Washington D.C., which I don't see as "in the middle". I also have no idea what really happens in Baltimore, or what Baltimore is known for, other than industry and unions, or something. And the team name - Ravens - just oozes mystery. The Ravens are like this dark force that just descends onto an opposing team, and suddenly declares victory, like the Vashta Nerada of the NFL.
The other problem is that I still can't settle on a pick for the Giants/Packers game tonight. The Packers are a better team than the Giants, but the Giants are conniving little jerks that have a way of defeating teams when it matters most. If all things were equal, then this should make me appreciate the Giants more, and I did, when they effing things up for the New England Patriots when they almost had an undefeated season. But really, that was just because I dislike the New England Patriots so much.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Monday Night Special: Oh Yeah
 Such a cutie, but he could use some arm tats. | How could I not know? My boyfriend got a concussion last week while not defeating, nor losing to the Rams. So now, there is the second string QB out there. Some oddly named pretty boy with arm tattoos and no sleeves. He's doing a good job, throwing bullets to Randy Moss and handing it off to the super awesome running backs. Now it is the half, and as we all know, NOTHING MATTERS BEFORE THE HALF Who knows, maybe the Bears coach will give a stunning locker room speech that inspires them to score four touchdowns in the next 20 minutes, then the 49ers only get one more touchdown to lose the game 28-27. But for now, the 49ers are up, 0-20. |
But now we have a brief Jeopardy break, conveniently happening just at halftime. It is the Teacher Tournament, with a Southern Belle, a Smooth Chicagoan, and Some Nerdy Guy competing for, I don't know, something. It is the week of Thanksgiving, so I have no idea if it is the finals tonight or not. We complete Jeopardy, even though the football has started again. I totally got two geology questions right too, and none of the contestants even tried to answer - What is attrition and what is Marcellus. Steve got a question on spices right, with What is cumin.
The Final Jeopardy category was European Authors, with our Southern Belle having $6,000, the Smooth Chicagoan at $11,something, and Some Nerdy Guy at $13,000. I know NOTHING about European Authors, so I'm betting it all!
Amazon said this author who died in 2004 was the first to sell a million Kindle e-books.
Steve said Steig Larson (after the hint from Alex), and he was right, but none of the contestants got it. Back to FOOTBALL!
And my concerns about exhilirating Half Time speeches in the Bears locker room were unwarranted. SF got themselves a touchdown while we were watching Jeopardy, and even now with a single Bears TD, with less than 4 minutes left to go in the 3rd quarter, I'm pretty happy.
--Time Passes--
There were some shenanigans out there, humiliating the poor Chicago Bears. I really felt bad about getting that safety, but it definitely ensured the win. At the two minute warning, there is no way they can overcome that 25 point deficit. It looks like my prediction was spot on - there could be ONLY ONE team with an 8&2 record after Week 11. I'm so damn brilliant, sh*t.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Eleven
On account of me having the National Cold, I slept away the morning, then turned on the TV in time to see, like, half of the early games in overtime. The big upset so far is the Jets over the Rams. I am watching the overtime of the Cleveland Browns and the Dallas Cowboys. In this game, the Cowboys are gonna win. I can feel it.
--Time Passes and the Cowboys won. No other overtime games ended in a flipping tie either, thank you.--
The late game that I'm gonna watch - the only one that I have the option of watching - is the one that I'd like to see. Silver and Black vs Gold and Black, or the Raiders vs. Saints. The Saints are up 14 to nothing, and I predict some good things for the Saints this year, despite their bad start.
--Time Passes--
Halftime has passed, and The Saints are up 21 to 7. Now, technically, ideally, I should want the Raiders to win, because I like Oakland. But let's face it, the only thing intimidating about the Oakland Raiders are its fans. We have a giant bark, but a teeny, tiny bite. We suck at football, and it is okay. Maybe someday, the Raiders will be good, and that will be sweet. Today, however, I want the Saints to make a huge comeback. I also swear that I saw one of the Saints doing Gangnam Style after the last touchdown, and that is just awesome. Except that these Saints keep excessively celebrating, and they need to cut that sh*t out before they get more penalties.
--Time Passes--
Now, at the end of the late games, with two more games to go in the week, all but one of the teams that I picked to win this week actually did win. Several of those teams started out the games behind, and then had to go into overtime, and then won the game. Even if my last two predictions turn out to be wrong, I am at 77% for this week.
I made a last minute change for the Sunday night game, after looking at the teams that the Ravens and the Steelers last defeated. Both have good records, with the Ravens having a slightly better record, but the Steelers seem to have been defeating slightly better teams (like the Giants). They're also at home, so I've changed my gut pick to the Steelers tonight. They better not let me down.
I'm also hesitant about the Chicago Bears this weekend. I didn't like the tie at the end of the 49ers game last week, and am worried that it is going to shake my boyfriend's confidence. However, he will be at home, and on Monday night. The Bears do have a better record, but they are coming off of a loss, at home even.
Here are my two parallel predictions: If the Steelers lose, and the Ravens win, then the 49ers will defeat the Bears. But if the Steelers win, the Bears will win too. In other words, there will be a single team with an 8&2 record at the end of Monday night.
--Time Passes and the Cowboys won. No other overtime games ended in a flipping tie either, thank you.--
The late game that I'm gonna watch - the only one that I have the option of watching - is the one that I'd like to see. Silver and Black vs Gold and Black, or the Raiders vs. Saints. The Saints are up 14 to nothing, and I predict some good things for the Saints this year, despite their bad start.
--Time Passes--
Halftime has passed, and The Saints are up 21 to 7. Now, technically, ideally, I should want the Raiders to win, because I like Oakland. But let's face it, the only thing intimidating about the Oakland Raiders are its fans. We have a giant bark, but a teeny, tiny bite. We suck at football, and it is okay. Maybe someday, the Raiders will be good, and that will be sweet. Today, however, I want the Saints to make a huge comeback. I also swear that I saw one of the Saints doing Gangnam Style after the last touchdown, and that is just awesome. Except that these Saints keep excessively celebrating, and they need to cut that sh*t out before they get more penalties.
--Time Passes--
Now, at the end of the late games, with two more games to go in the week, all but one of the teams that I picked to win this week actually did win. Several of those teams started out the games behind, and then had to go into overtime, and then won the game. Even if my last two predictions turn out to be wrong, I am at 77% for this week.
I made a last minute change for the Sunday night game, after looking at the teams that the Ravens and the Steelers last defeated. Both have good records, with the Ravens having a slightly better record, but the Steelers seem to have been defeating slightly better teams (like the Giants). They're also at home, so I've changed my gut pick to the Steelers tonight. They better not let me down.
I'm also hesitant about the Chicago Bears this weekend. I didn't like the tie at the end of the 49ers game last week, and am worried that it is going to shake my boyfriend's confidence. However, he will be at home, and on Monday night. The Bears do have a better record, but they are coming off of a loss, at home even.
Here are my two parallel predictions: If the Steelers lose, and the Ravens win, then the 49ers will defeat the Bears. But if the Steelers win, the Bears will win too. In other words, there will be a single team with an 8&2 record at the end of Monday night.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Ten Super Late Edition
So, I actually had a post going on Sunday, while watching the games in fact. I was on my flight to Minneapolis, and the airline had showed TV stations at take-off and landing for free, so I was able to see the scores of the games, and a couple of the games.
But the post that I typed up, replete with brilliant witticisms, somehow got lost and is now long gone. I am happy to report that my big upset of the week - which, if you were watching, wasn't a real upset - prediction, New Orleans beating the undefeated Falcons, turned out to be true.
In bizarro news, my boyfriend could not defeat the Rams, but neither could they defeat him! It turned out to be a tie. A MOTHERFLIPPING TIE. 24-24, for gerbil's sake. Now, now I have no idea what to say, but it happened, right there, on nfl.com. So, there, I guess.
But the post that I typed up, replete with brilliant witticisms, somehow got lost and is now long gone. I am happy to report that my big upset of the week - which, if you were watching, wasn't a real upset - prediction, New Orleans beating the undefeated Falcons, turned out to be true.
In bizarro news, my boyfriend could not defeat the Rams, but neither could they defeat him! It turned out to be a tie. A MOTHERFLIPPING TIE. 24-24, for gerbil's sake. Now, now I have no idea what to say, but it happened, right there, on nfl.com. So, there, I guess.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Week Nine Monday Special
So, I was excited this morning, because I figured that I was on my way to another 85% accurate weekend, as long as the Eagles won. Then I started watching the game, and remembered that New Orleans had Drew Brees, and the Eagles had Michael "I don't have a fumbling problem, I just drop the ball a lot" Vick. At the half, New Orleans was up 21-3. After some good plays by New Orleans, I thought that my "nothing matters before the half" comments were just posturing.
Then the Eagles get a defensive touchdown, and they recovered a fumbled kick-off return, and we thought that maybe, just maybe, I was right. We shall see....
--Time Passes--
Did you see that crazy play? Such a shame, that that pretty boy with the long hair didn't get a return touchdown, and then take his shirt off and... I mean, um yeah. Interestingly, even though the Eagles are Mediocre right now, and playing a Bad team, with a loss tonight, they will become Bad. The Saints have to win a few more to get into Mediocre, but if they don't lose another game this season, they could end up as Good.
--Time Passes--
Dude, this [what the hell is that thing called - a stretch of plays down the field, progression? why can't I remember this crap?] is so bad. Vick got like three of the first downs on his own, because the pocket collapsed, then he threw this huge arching pass into the stands. Maybe their coach should get that mouse off of his face and he could help his team think of better plays. They got to 1st and Goal, but two penalties, a crappy pass, and whatever other plays they make.... Ugh, they didn't even get THREE points.
That's it, the Eagles SUCK, just like the rest of the NFC East did this week. But then again, I don't like the NFC East, so, yay for me.
Then the Eagles get a defensive touchdown, and they recovered a fumbled kick-off return, and we thought that maybe, just maybe, I was right. We shall see....
--Time Passes--
Did you see that crazy play? Such a shame, that that pretty boy with the long hair didn't get a return touchdown, and then take his shirt off and... I mean, um yeah. Interestingly, even though the Eagles are Mediocre right now, and playing a Bad team, with a loss tonight, they will become Bad. The Saints have to win a few more to get into Mediocre, but if they don't lose another game this season, they could end up as Good.
--Time Passes--
Dude, this [what the hell is that thing called - a stretch of plays down the field, progression? why can't I remember this crap?] is so bad. Vick got like three of the first downs on his own, because the pocket collapsed, then he threw this huge arching pass into the stands. Maybe their coach should get that mouse off of his face and he could help his team think of better plays. They got to 1st and Goal, but two penalties, a crappy pass, and whatever other plays they make.... Ugh, they didn't even get THREE points.
That's it, the Eagles SUCK, just like the rest of the NFC East did this week. But then again, I don't like the NFC East, so, yay for me.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Nine
Another autumn week, another week of football games. This week marks the half-way point of the season, and it will be interesting to see if any of the teams identified as "Bad" in my analysis can overcome their current standing. Today, the only early game on Network TeeVee is the Mediocre Denver Broncos vs. the Mediocre Cincinnati Bengals. If the Bengals win this game, both teams will become even more Mediocre. If the Broncos win, by virtue of how I am assigning the labels of "Good" and "Bad" this week, they will become Good, and the Bengals will become Bad. The Bengals will be at a point where they would need to win every single one of their remaining games to be considered "Good", and would only hit that mark in week 15. But so far, the Bengals look ready to fall into the Bad camp in 2012. Sorry, Cincinnati.
I just remembered that San Francisco has a Bye this week, and that is why the Network games available are so sparse. I can follow Green Bay on the computer, and it seems that they have the ball in the Red Zone, and it is 2nd and Goal. I predict that they will be up 3-0 soon!
--Time Passes--
Oh, but I was wrong, they got a TOUCHDOWN! Sweetness. I guess I forgot that the Cardinals are a horrible team. Being sick over the week, and then hearing that my boyfriend was edged out for NFC Player of the Month, when I didn't even know such a thing existed, was distracting. I think that I also conflated them with the Atlanta Falcons, a Good team, because both have place-names that start with A.
--Time Passes--
So, I went out in the afternoon, and came back to see the end of the late game. Oakland came back from a really bad place, and I hate betting against my favorite teams, because when they do well, I get disappointed because it bodes badly for my picks. So far, with the end of the Vikings/Stupidhawks game, I'm at 8 for 13 picks made. (I never made a decision on the Thursday night game, and then it was played). The Steelers are also coming back from behind, which screws up my picks, but hell, anything to prevent the Giants from ruining the playoffs again is fine by me.
And, in the interests of home town pride... LET'S GO OAK-LAND!
--Time Passes--
But you knew it was too good to be true. The nice thing is that I win either way ;) And it is time to say goodbye to Week Nine, may my boyfriend have a good rest, then defeat the Rams next week (like they need to be wished well to do that, sheesh!).
I just remembered that San Francisco has a Bye this week, and that is why the Network games available are so sparse. I can follow Green Bay on the computer, and it seems that they have the ball in the Red Zone, and it is 2nd and Goal. I predict that they will be up 3-0 soon!
--Time Passes--
Oh, but I was wrong, they got a TOUCHDOWN! Sweetness. I guess I forgot that the Cardinals are a horrible team. Being sick over the week, and then hearing that my boyfriend was edged out for NFC Player of the Month, when I didn't even know such a thing existed, was distracting. I think that I also conflated them with the Atlanta Falcons, a Good team, because both have place-names that start with A.
--Time Passes--
So, I went out in the afternoon, and came back to see the end of the late game. Oakland came back from a really bad place, and I hate betting against my favorite teams, because when they do well, I get disappointed because it bodes badly for my picks. So far, with the end of the Vikings/Stupidhawks game, I'm at 8 for 13 picks made. (I never made a decision on the Thursday night game, and then it was played). The Steelers are also coming back from behind, which screws up my picks, but hell, anything to prevent the Giants from ruining the playoffs again is fine by me.
And, in the interests of home town pride... LET'S GO OAK-LAND!
--Time Passes--
But you knew it was too good to be true. The nice thing is that I win either way ;) And it is time to say goodbye to Week Nine, may my boyfriend have a good rest, then defeat the Rams next week (like they need to be wished well to do that, sheesh!).
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