A Wizard Who Plays Football...

One could say that I play..... "Fantasy Football".

This was my Halloween costume, created and worn on Saturday, when the Halloween parties happened. I went to one party, and left after like 30 minutes, but I made tons of people there and on the street laugh, which was a lot of fun. I'll re-use this costume idea, and it will be better once I get a real Alex Smith jersey and a sewing machine to improve the cape. Fun fact, there are at least 4 stories to this costume, including the one you know. Another one is that I dressed as the player that I have decided to call my boyfriend, which leads into another story about how, one year, my then-boyfriend and I dressed as each other for Halloween. The final story is that I often refer to myself as a wizard. In other words, I dressed as myself and as my boyfriend, creating a football playing wizard.

Because He's Alex %$#&ing Smith!

Well, my boyfriend set a record tonight - 18 completed passes, for 19 attempts, in one game. This is apparently, pretty epic to people who keep track of such things. All I know is that this guy is a freaking god, and we should all have shrines to him on our mantles. I need to build mine this week.

On a Facebook post from an Arizona Cardinals fan, another person asked, "How the hell is Alex Smith 17/18?" The moment is sort of lost, but my answer to the question is in the title of this post.

Basically, now is when I begin posturing and shouting swear words to proclaim how awesome my boyfriend is. I don't really want to pay $100, but I need me an Alex Smith jersey, preferably one of the away versions. Red is just a little too bold for me these days.

Damn if I don't love being a San Francisco 49ers fan!

Sundays are for Football: Week Eight

Games are on, but I am far more interested in tooling around on the intarwebs, and watching MST3k. I have the NFL website up to monitor games, and the Packers are NOT as far ahead as I would like. Also, the Vikings lost on Thursday, which kind of makes me smile, in a vindictive sort of way, but it mostly makes me angry. See, now it turns out that my pick was wrong, and now the Vikings are not as good a team. I'd be fine with the Vikings going 12-4, so long as the four losses were 2 to the Packers, one to the Lions, and one to the Bears. That would be perfect, but noooo, they had to lose. Pbbbbtt.

--Time Passes--

Random game updates from the internets:

• The Jaguars got another field goal, and despite being down by 8 points to the Packers, it still makes me angry.
• The Jets are being shut out by the Dolphins right now, which cracks me up to no end.
• Somehow, the Browns are winning, at the half.
• Tennessee is winning, as are Hotlanta, Pittsburgh, New England, and the Stupidhawks, so many things are right with the world.
• Chicago better stop sucking in the second half, because losing to the NFC South is just embarrassing.

Off to Target! But before that, [swear words] about the just-scored Jaguar touchdown.

--Time Passes--

So, now that I've been to Target and back, I come home and see the results of the early games. The Bears did stop sucking, the Packers won, as did the Falcons, Patriots, Steelers, and Dolphins. But somehow, the Bolts could not defeat the Browns, which is somewhat confusing, but they were in Cleveland. Next time, I'm going to not be shy about writing down my gut feeling like I did this week, I guess I was just overwhelmed by my own success last week. It is too bad that I'd rather watch Girls Town than football, maybe. It is actually too bad that I'm crashing from a chocolate-induced sugar-high, and don't want to blog about football right now. Bah.

Sundays are for Football: Week Seven

The week began early with the Thursday night game pre-empting Jeopardy, but it turned out to be the 49ers, with my boyfriend, playing the Stupidhawks. The Stupidhawks away uniforms are much more attractive than their home uniforms, so they weren't playing that well. On the other hand, my boyfriend didn't throw any touchdowns last week, and hadn't thrown one yet in this game. But when I started paying attention, and turned up the TV volume, he got a lot better. Near the end of the game, a defensive player sacked the opposing QB, and my roommate told me that said defensive player was his boyfriend. As it turns out, our boyfriends have the same last name, which is convenient. It was a great game, and Seattle fell to 4&3, though they should really be 3&4, or 0&7 - I don't even care that they're in the NFC West.

--Days Pass--

My football blogging this week is pretty sparse, due to weirdness happening in my life. I missed all of the early games, until the very end, due to a late awakening, and the need to take a walk. The only late game that is on for me now are the very bad Jacksonville Jaguars against the also very bad Oakland Raiders. I'm sure that the Jets-Patriots game would be a bit more exciting, objectively, but OMG I do not want to watch that. Also, instead of paying attention to the Raiders playing badly, then playing better, then badly again, I finally finished voting on the 23 various ballot measures and the ranked choice voting for mayor and city councilmember. I've sealed up and signed my ballot, and am ready to throw it in the mail on Monday.

--Time Passes--

Well, this game is certainly interesting now, and both of the late games today went into overtime. I also have to say that I think that Oakland should include the pink shoes and towels as part of their uniforms permanently. It accents the black and silver perfectly. Back to overtime, a touchdown will end the game, so Oakland needs to stop the Jaguars from doing that, then do it themselves. If the Patriots win their game, it will be really good for my Gut Picks this week. Then the Steelers and DA BEARS need to win, and my Gut Picks will have an 85% success rate.

--Time Passes--

And Janikowski gets it in, for a Raider win, with the Patriots winning in overtime too. :D Gut Picks at 69% now, so I'm wrapping it up for Week 7.

Sundays are for Football: Week Six

LET'S GO OAKLAND! Could it be? In the 4th quarter, the Raiders are holding their own against the Falcons, in Hotlanta. Of course, now that I have said that, the Raiders are sure to lose. If they win, that will mean that my "Ideal" picks are doing better than the Gut picks, and the picks based on my CUHLA this week. And we are going into overtime, or not... oh well, one more point for my Gut picks.

So, This is the month were the football players wear the pink shoes, which always clash with their colors. However, none clash so badly as the teams that use red, and I know this, because of my mom. See, in the second or third grade, on Valentine's day, I decided to wear red and pink, with some hearts, because IT WAS VALENTINE'S DAY. However, when I came out of my room, my mother instantly freaked out, told me that I couldn't wear red and pink together, because they clashed. No amount of explanation that it was a holiday that used red and pink would placate her, so I had to change out of my perfectly appropriate outfit. Since then, the whole world has come to appreciate color clashing, and no longer polices color choices like they used to. But, I will always point out that red and pink should not go together. So Atlanta, Washington, San Francisco (they're not wearing the pink shoes, thank goodness), Arizona, Kansas City, Tampa Bay, and even Buffalo, New England and Houston, I AM LOOKING AT YOU, and I am judging you, unfavorably.

With the end of the early game, my Gut and Ideal picks are neck-and-neck, whereas my CUHLA picks are at the bottom of the barrel. The sadness is that I want my Gut picks to do well, since they did so well in week 5, but my Gut picked the Giants over the 49ers, the Giants are my third-least-favorite team, and the 49ers are my second favorite. So far, so good, though that interception (that looked exactly like the Jennings interception in week three - no, do not go there, Urs) was pretty scary. If the 49ers can get them to a punt, or hold them to three, I think we'll be ok, and my gut will never bet against the Niners again.

So, I decided to go for a walk during the Niner's game, while the score was 7-3 Giants. I needed to do some walking, and wanted to pick up some burritos for dinner. I paid no attention to the football, went to the Humane Society, got some gum, and then checked the score at the burrito place as I waited, and wanted to cry. I hope and pray that this dooes not repeat itself in the playoffs! I do not want to watch another Giants Super Bowl, ever. My Gut picks are still doing better than CUHLA or Ideal, sadly. On to the Packer game tonight, and the Bolts tomorrow. If my gut is right, the Packers will slide to 2&4, making them officially "Bad" and the Bolts will get another win. Not sure what I want now. But, thus ends the Week Six post.

Sundays are for Football: Week Five

Week five is the week when I get to dye my hair again, and thank goodness, because it is getting less and less brown all the time. I have no idea how I will know when I can dye it when my weeks are not conveniently numbered like they are September-December. I guess that is why I typically have 2 and 3 inch blond roots coming out of my head during the rest of the year, but I digress. FOOTBALL.

The Packer game is not being played out here in the Bay, just the Battle of Pennsylvania and Baltimore against Kansas City. Each game features a team that I'd rather not watch, but I like the Eagles more than I like the Ravens, so I'm watching their game. The game is really really messy, with the Steelers constantly messing up the long snap, and Vick just keeps dropping the ball. My roommate just asked me if these are NFL teams, which is how bad things are getting.

--Time Passes--

So, after some crap with the audio on the TV Network that is playing this game, the Steelers scored, which made me sad. See, I've decided to use my useless, high-level analysis to make predictions. I use three metrics, actually; my useless, high-level analysis, my "gut", and the final is my ideal winner, based on my irrational loyalties. After Thursday, my gut is 100%, while my analysis and ideal are failing. I picked the Eagles for all three of my metrics now, so they better win. However, it is now raining, and Pittsburgh is at home. This may mean that I should look at more information when making these predictions, but I probably won't.

--Time Passes--

So Philly lost, but Hotlanta won, and the Packers still had a lot of time left. They were down for a little, then went up again, and then the TV had to stop showing the game, so I started watching the 49ers on the TV, and monitored the Packers on the computer. Things were ok, so I went down to do laundry, and when I came back up and refreshed my computer, well, it was kind of like this. ---> HOW DID WE LOSE TO THE COLTS?!?! OMG, whatever

So, coping with the loss... just remembering that 13-3 is a good record, and the 49ers are doing pretty well so far. The nice thing about this game is that people seem to be able to hold onto the ball. The game is in SF, and I'm hoping that the Blue Angels fly above a couple of times. The commentators showed a shot of Fisherman's Wharf, including some sailors walking by, but they failed to mention that it is Fleet Week. It is a beautiful day too, so there probably won't be any weather shenanigans for this game. Of course, everything can change after the half, well, if the 49ers were the Packers, which they are not. They just play like I wish the Packers would play. [trying to put the loss out of my mind]

--Time Passes--

So, just after I posted the above paragraph, SF fumbled, but then Buffalo fumbled as soon as they started playing, and SF got a touchdown. My roommie and I then headed out to the local flea market to pick up a few things. When we got back, my roommate saw the score first and started to laugh. Unlike when we leave during the Packer game, the 49ers were not losing, and instead were leading the Bills by 27 points, and had yet to score the extra point on their recent touchdown. And amusingly, the 49ers DID score 40 points this week, and against an AFC team to boot. On to week 6....