This is the last week of the regular season, but last week, I was on vacation with family, who either did not let me watch football, did not have wireless, or where it would have been awkward to break out a computer while watching the TV. But also, as a result of the vacation, I didn't make my picks before the games started today. But somehow, I managed to not see the scores of the still happening games while looking up who was playing, and made my picks anyway. Now I just need to wait for the early games to end to see how well I did. I already called the Giants/Eagles game, and it isn't even over yet. ::WIN::
--Time Passes--
Superfluous Rant: For the love all that is and ever was, please do not let the Giants into the playoffs. If they get in the playoffs, they will ruin everything, then win the Super Bowl, and that will be boring. I will not sit and watch a Giants Super Bowl, no way, no how. Giants fans can KMA.
So, the roommate and I were watching the Spotify window on my computer, when I realized that we could listen to Spotify and watch the NFL games at the same time, and it is so far, so good. The TV was apparently playing the Eagles/Giants game, but they switched away from that blow out to show the Bears/Lions game, which is actually interesting. For a while, it looked like the Lions might win the game - indeed, they still might, but the Bears now have the ball with less than three minutes to go, and if they score, it will be over for the Lions, and the Bears playoff hopes will still be alive, only to be crushed by the 49ers or Packers someday, wahahahahaha.
--Time Passes, Early Games End--
So, I started watching the 49ers/Cardinals game, but had to turn away because it was entirely too red - seriously. I couldn't even tell the players apart because my eyes were hurting. So I tuned in to the Raiders/Chargers game, and not 15 seconds into the game, the Raiders are down 7-0. Really, San Diego, did you have to rub it in? And apparently, the last time that the Chargers got a TD from the opening kick-off was this exact same game, last year. WOW
--Time Passes--
So, during REM's End of the World song, the local TV station showed clips of the 49ers game, where everyone was cheering, and things were happy. Then, they went over to a bar with Raider fans, watching that game, which was just... not very nice, come on, TV station, we know that they are going to be sad, leave them alone. Anyway, the games are at half time, and none of the scores are at blow out level yet, so I cannot make any predictions on the winners yet. The 49ers, however, should be up by 7 points, if not for two missed field goals.
--Time Passes--
So, Green Bay gave up their first round bye so they could play the Vikings again, but in Lambeau? This doesn't seem like it will end well, but hey, the rest of my late game picks were accurate, so my average for the season is now at 64%. Now, Washington needs to win, and I'll be sort of happy, sort of. At least the Giants were knocked out of contention this year, and so long as New England is held back, the Super Bowl will be highly watchable this year.
In other news, I'm watching the press conferences, but on mute. It just seems mean to have a press conference for the teams that did really bad. I mean, what are they supposed to say? "Yeah, we suck, we'll try to do better next year, sorry." Seriously, someone does have to suck, why make them sit in front of angry fans and answer questions? On the other hand, making up the answers for the San Diego QB during his press conference was pretty fun.
But whatever, the regular season is done for me, see you in the playoffs!
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Fifteen
I'm watching the halftime report. The Packers are up by 7 points, and apparently, things are not good in Chicago, to which I say, "you shoulda picked a better team to root for, Chicago! Psshht."
But people are sensitive about football, as I learned years ago. They really shouldn't be, but then again, I am a Packer fan.
--Time Passes--
Yay! The football is back.But it is kind of boring. So far, the score is the same. (Na uh, Packers totally scored!)And how was I to know that the Saints would shut out the Buccaneers? Or that the Falcons would do the same to the Giants? Well, I guess I did know that, so my picks might do better this week than they did last week.
--Time Passes, Crosby misses another feild goal--
So, the score could have been 27 to 10 already, but our kicker is apparently really, really bad. This is especially depressing, for him, but the Packers defense kept Chicago to 3 points after that recovered fumble, so it could be worse. And then the special teams makes it worse, for some reason. Instead of starting a drive on their own 25 yard-line, they make a trick play, get a fumble, and the Bears get three more points. But once again, it could be even worse than that.
--Early Games End--
Well, the Packers pulled that one out, as did other teams that won their games today. This was not the week to predict upsets for the early games, and my CUHLA picks are 8 for 9 already played. The Giants were shut out by Hotlanta, which increases my hope that the Giants won't ruin the NFC playoffs this year again. If the best teams end up in the Super Bowl, then it will be a southern battle, with the Texans and the Falcons. It will also be entirely too red. Now, the next game on network TV is the Battle of the Worst. Kansas City could defeat the Raiders, leaving them both with 3&11 records, or Oakland could climb up to 4&10 on the season. I might just take a nap.
Oh, and I just heard that Carson Palmer is sick, and making all of the other Raiders sick. It looks like he got the cold that has been floating around the bay area around this time. I think I had it in November, and it wasn't pretty. Meanwhile, Seattle, in a game that I am not allowed to watch, is up 14-0 over some other team that must be really bad. Palmer threw a ball to no one, and two Chiefs ran into each other. This really is the Battle of the Worst - and I am sorry for everyone involved, especially me.
--Time Passes, Nap Taken--
So, this week, my picks were all terrible, and I might just barely break 50% this week, but it will be ok. See, I bet against the SF 49ers for this game, which is two minutes before the half, but the 49ers are kicking some Patriot ass, and I can't really be upset about that. I do so dislike the Patriots. There was that weird return kick, with the illegal touching. That football touched that guy's leg, and it touched it so much that the guy might as well have picked it up and rubbed it all over his face, but the officials said otherwise in a comically incoherent explanation, thanks to technical difficulties. That episode also inspired the best thing I've ever heard a commentator say, which was, "we don't have anything to say, we're just going to cut to commercial." Honesty FTW.
--Time Passes--
So, I passed the half time by watching Gangnam Style parodies, and I was on a piano version when the most epic play of the game happened. There were fumbles, and missed catches, and then a recovery. Then a play looked like it failed in a spectacularly epic fashion, but as my roommate said, "it doesn't even matter!" because SF got ANOTHER TOUCHDOWN! Hooray for defeating the New England Patriots!
--Time Passes--
What the hell, San Francisco? You're only up by 7 now, and there are like ten and a half minutes left in the game. You seriously cannot lose this game. Do you understand that losing this game means that you will fail in the playoffs? Stop failing! Intercept the ball, recover a fumble, do something and don't let the Patriots win, again. Ugh.
--Game Ends--
They won, yay!
But people are sensitive about football, as I learned years ago. They really shouldn't be, but then again, I am a Packer fan.
--Time Passes--
Yay! The football is back.
--Time Passes, Crosby misses another feild goal--
So, the score could have been 27 to 10 already, but our kicker is apparently really, really bad. This is especially depressing, for him, but the Packers defense kept Chicago to 3 points after that recovered fumble, so it could be worse. And then the special teams makes it worse, for some reason. Instead of starting a drive on their own 25 yard-line, they make a trick play, get a fumble, and the Bears get three more points. But once again, it could be even worse than that.
--Early Games End--
Well, the Packers pulled that one out, as did other teams that won their games today. This was not the week to predict upsets for the early games, and my CUHLA picks are 8 for 9 already played. The Giants were shut out by Hotlanta, which increases my hope that the Giants won't ruin the NFC playoffs this year again. If the best teams end up in the Super Bowl, then it will be a southern battle, with the Texans and the Falcons. It will also be entirely too red. Now, the next game on network TV is the Battle of the Worst. Kansas City could defeat the Raiders, leaving them both with 3&11 records, or Oakland could climb up to 4&10 on the season. I might just take a nap.
Oh, and I just heard that Carson Palmer is sick, and making all of the other Raiders sick. It looks like he got the cold that has been floating around the bay area around this time. I think I had it in November, and it wasn't pretty. Meanwhile, Seattle, in a game that I am not allowed to watch, is up 14-0 over some other team that must be really bad. Palmer threw a ball to no one, and two Chiefs ran into each other. This really is the Battle of the Worst - and I am sorry for everyone involved, especially me.
--Time Passes, Nap Taken--
So, this week, my picks were all terrible, and I might just barely break 50% this week, but it will be ok. See, I bet against the SF 49ers for this game, which is two minutes before the half, but the 49ers are kicking some Patriot ass, and I can't really be upset about that. I do so dislike the Patriots. There was that weird return kick, with the illegal touching. That football touched that guy's leg, and it touched it so much that the guy might as well have picked it up and rubbed it all over his face, but the officials said otherwise in a comically incoherent explanation, thanks to technical difficulties. That episode also inspired the best thing I've ever heard a commentator say, which was, "we don't have anything to say, we're just going to cut to commercial." Honesty FTW.
--Time Passes--
So, I passed the half time by watching Gangnam Style parodies, and I was on a piano version when the most epic play of the game happened. There were fumbles, and missed catches, and then a recovery. Then a play looked like it failed in a spectacularly epic fashion, but as my roommate said, "it doesn't even matter!" because SF got ANOTHER TOUCHDOWN! Hooray for defeating the New England Patriots!
--Time Passes--
What the hell, San Francisco? You're only up by 7 now, and there are like ten and a half minutes left in the game. You seriously cannot lose this game. Do you understand that losing this game means that you will fail in the playoffs? Stop failing! Intercept the ball, recover a fumble, do something and don't let the Patriots win, again. Ugh.
--Game Ends--
They won, yay!
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Fourteen
I seriously considered skipping this week, what with my current seasonal malaise, and with all of the shopping that I have to do today. But I got up, predicted who I figured would have won Thursday night, and made picks for the rest of the games. I'm watching the Dallas Cincinnati game, where I have predicted a Bengal win. So far, so good, since the Cowboys seem to have forgotten how to play the football. All can change in a few minute though, and Cincinnati is only up by 9 points.
--Time Passes--
Ooh, what did I say, now Cinci is only up by 2 points. It is not looking good for them, or for the Atlanta Falcons. I totally should have seen that upset coming. The Falcons have the best record in the NFL, along with the Texans, and they're going to the playoffs no matter how badly they perform during the last few games. Problem is, their division SUCKS, so I do not expect them to make it to the NFC Championship game this year. They're making progress against the Panthers, as if they realize that they're only good in comparison to the rest of the sucky teams in the south, but it is too little, too late, I'm afraid. The rest of my picks are doing pretty poorly too. Upsets are not happening where I predict them, and they are happening where I assumed I was safe.
--Early Games End--
This is, by far, the worst week for my picks. I will be lucky if I make 50% this week, because all five of the remaining games need to go my way for me to hit that mark. At least I can take solace that I even made picks this week, so that my statistics don't have a big gap? Ugh, I should go shopping and eat something other than cookies.
--Time Passes, Things are Purchased and Eaten, Late Games End--
Well, I am on my way to 50% this week, pending a win by the Packers and a loss by the Texans, neither of which is assured. It is snowing at Lambeau, and the players are taking the field. Whatsherface is strutting about in her short skirt and platform heels, and I'm ready to turn the sound on. Go Packers.
--Time Passes--
So there is no time, they're trying an onside kick, I think they failed, and the Packers won. Oh, and I know that I heard Gangnam Style playing at Lambeau. Wonder how all of the middle-aged, conservative Packer fans are dealing with the Millennial take over of their Green Bay Packers? Eh, who cares, PACKERS WON AT FOOTBALL!
--Time Passes--
Ooh, what did I say, now Cinci is only up by 2 points. It is not looking good for them, or for the Atlanta Falcons. I totally should have seen that upset coming. The Falcons have the best record in the NFL, along with the Texans, and they're going to the playoffs no matter how badly they perform during the last few games. Problem is, their division SUCKS, so I do not expect them to make it to the NFC Championship game this year. They're making progress against the Panthers, as if they realize that they're only good in comparison to the rest of the sucky teams in the south, but it is too little, too late, I'm afraid. The rest of my picks are doing pretty poorly too. Upsets are not happening where I predict them, and they are happening where I assumed I was safe.
--Early Games End--
This is, by far, the worst week for my picks. I will be lucky if I make 50% this week, because all five of the remaining games need to go my way for me to hit that mark. At least I can take solace that I even made picks this week, so that my statistics don't have a big gap? Ugh, I should go shopping and eat something other than cookies.
--Time Passes, Things are Purchased and Eaten, Late Games End--
Well, I am on my way to 50% this week, pending a win by the Packers and a loss by the Texans, neither of which is assured. It is snowing at Lambeau, and the players are taking the field. Whatsherface is strutting about in her short skirt and platform heels, and I'm ready to turn the sound on. Go Packers.
--Time Passes--
So there is no time, they're trying an onside kick, I think they failed, and the Packers won. Oh, and I know that I heard Gangnam Style playing at Lambeau. Wonder how all of the middle-aged, conservative Packer fans are dealing with the Millennial take over of their Green Bay Packers? Eh, who cares, PACKERS WON AT FOOTBALL!
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Thirteen
I had a real hard time making picks this week, maybe because I don't pay enough attention to the games. I think I need to accept that I'm not going to be on fire if I don't attempt to build up the flammable materials, or something. Does that even make sense? Probably not. I'm so afraid of making the wrong Gut predictions for upsets that I make no upset predictions at all, then upsets occur, and I feel dumb.
Anyway, I have been watching the early games, and was disappointed in my substitute arm-tattooed boyfriend, but more disappointed in the other players. Shame on the 49ers, and I can only hope that we don't have another Giants/Patriots Super Bowl this year. I was too busy writing out a scene in my fan fiction, however, to get a football post going before the end of the early games.
I just did the numbers, and it could be worse. My gut picks are 60% for the games that have already happened. I'm watching the Steelers play the Ravens this afternoon, and debating going shopping for Christmas gifts. On one hand, a walk would be nice, and on the other, sitting around is nice too.
--Time Passes, Blogger goes for a walk and buys a ton of books, Late Games End, Sunday Night Game Nearly Done--
Damn Cowboys, WIN THIS GAME. ::bangs fist on table::
Anyway, I have been watching the early games, and was disappointed in my substitute arm-tattooed boyfriend, but more disappointed in the other players. Shame on the 49ers, and I can only hope that we don't have another Giants/Patriots Super Bowl this year. I was too busy writing out a scene in my fan fiction, however, to get a football post going before the end of the early games.
I just did the numbers, and it could be worse. My gut picks are 60% for the games that have already happened. I'm watching the Steelers play the Ravens this afternoon, and debating going shopping for Christmas gifts. On one hand, a walk would be nice, and on the other, sitting around is nice too.
--Time Passes, Blogger goes for a walk and buys a ton of books, Late Games End, Sunday Night Game Nearly Done--
Damn Cowboys, WIN THIS GAME. ::bangs fist on table::
Monday, November 26, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Twelve
I'm almost over this damn cold. Oakland sucks, and I hate the Giants. ::RAGE::
No, seriously, Oakland is absolutely terrible at the football. They are so bad, but they did get some points on the board, so they won't be completely embarrassed.
In another game, apparently, the Chicago/Minnesota game was such a blow-out for the Bears, that FOX took us to the Atlanta/Tampa Bay game. But they were playing an iPad Mini commercial, so I changed the channel.
I'm having a football-related existential crisis, maybe.
--Time Passes, Early Games End, Blogger Has Coffee and Talks to Mother--
This might be my worst week ever. So far, my accuracy is 64% for the 11 games played, and I do not have enough faith in the Rams of the 49ers to win their games today, like they should. I have more faith in the Ravens, if only because they are a mysterious team to me. I know very little about Baltimore, including where it is geographically. It always seemed, to me, like it was kind of "in the middle" of the United States, but apparently, it is also really close to Washington D.C., which I don't see as "in the middle". I also have no idea what really happens in Baltimore, or what Baltimore is known for, other than industry and unions, or something. And the team name - Ravens - just oozes mystery. The Ravens are like this dark force that just descends onto an opposing team, and suddenly declares victory, like the Vashta Nerada of the NFL.
The other problem is that I still can't settle on a pick for the Giants/Packers game tonight. The Packers are a better team than the Giants, but the Giants are conniving little jerks that have a way of defeating teams when it matters most. If all things were equal, then this should make me appreciate the Giants more, and I did, when they effing things up for the New England Patriots when they almost had an undefeated season. But really, that was just because I dislike the New England Patriots so much.
No, seriously, Oakland is absolutely terrible at the football. They are so bad, but they did get some points on the board, so they won't be completely embarrassed.
In another game, apparently, the Chicago/Minnesota game was such a blow-out for the Bears, that FOX took us to the Atlanta/Tampa Bay game. But they were playing an iPad Mini commercial, so I changed the channel.
I'm having a football-related existential crisis, maybe.
--Time Passes, Early Games End, Blogger Has Coffee and Talks to Mother--
This might be my worst week ever. So far, my accuracy is 64% for the 11 games played, and I do not have enough faith in the Rams of the 49ers to win their games today, like they should. I have more faith in the Ravens, if only because they are a mysterious team to me. I know very little about Baltimore, including where it is geographically. It always seemed, to me, like it was kind of "in the middle" of the United States, but apparently, it is also really close to Washington D.C., which I don't see as "in the middle". I also have no idea what really happens in Baltimore, or what Baltimore is known for, other than industry and unions, or something. And the team name - Ravens - just oozes mystery. The Ravens are like this dark force that just descends onto an opposing team, and suddenly declares victory, like the Vashta Nerada of the NFL.
The other problem is that I still can't settle on a pick for the Giants/Packers game tonight. The Packers are a better team than the Giants, but the Giants are conniving little jerks that have a way of defeating teams when it matters most. If all things were equal, then this should make me appreciate the Giants more, and I did, when they effing things up for the New England Patriots when they almost had an undefeated season. But really, that was just because I dislike the New England Patriots so much.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Monday Night Special: Oh Yeah
 Such a cutie, but he could use some arm tats. | How could I not know? My boyfriend got a concussion last week while not defeating, nor losing to the Rams. So now, there is the second string QB out there. Some oddly named pretty boy with arm tattoos and no sleeves. He's doing a good job, throwing bullets to Randy Moss and handing it off to the super awesome running backs. Now it is the half, and as we all know, NOTHING MATTERS BEFORE THE HALF Who knows, maybe the Bears coach will give a stunning locker room speech that inspires them to score four touchdowns in the next 20 minutes, then the 49ers only get one more touchdown to lose the game 28-27. But for now, the 49ers are up, 0-20. |
But now we have a brief Jeopardy break, conveniently happening just at halftime. It is the Teacher Tournament, with a Southern Belle, a Smooth Chicagoan, and Some Nerdy Guy competing for, I don't know, something. It is the week of Thanksgiving, so I have no idea if it is the finals tonight or not. We complete Jeopardy, even though the football has started again. I totally got two geology questions right too, and none of the contestants even tried to answer - What is attrition and what is Marcellus. Steve got a question on spices right, with What is cumin.
The Final Jeopardy category was European Authors, with our Southern Belle having $6,000, the Smooth Chicagoan at $11,something, and Some Nerdy Guy at $13,000. I know NOTHING about European Authors, so I'm betting it all!
Amazon said this author who died in 2004 was the first to sell a million Kindle e-books.
Steve said Steig Larson (after the hint from Alex), and he was right, but none of the contestants got it. Back to FOOTBALL!
And my concerns about exhilirating Half Time speeches in the Bears locker room were unwarranted. SF got themselves a touchdown while we were watching Jeopardy, and even now with a single Bears TD, with less than 4 minutes left to go in the 3rd quarter, I'm pretty happy.
--Time Passes--
There were some shenanigans out there, humiliating the poor Chicago Bears. I really felt bad about getting that safety, but it definitely ensured the win. At the two minute warning, there is no way they can overcome that 25 point deficit. It looks like my prediction was spot on - there could be ONLY ONE team with an 8&2 record after Week 11. I'm so damn brilliant, sh*t.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Eleven
On account of me having the National Cold, I slept away the morning, then turned on the TV in time to see, like, half of the early games in overtime. The big upset so far is the Jets over the Rams. I am watching the overtime of the Cleveland Browns and the Dallas Cowboys. In this game, the Cowboys are gonna win. I can feel it.
--Time Passes and the Cowboys won. No other overtime games ended in a flipping tie either, thank you.--
The late game that I'm gonna watch - the only one that I have the option of watching - is the one that I'd like to see. Silver and Black vs Gold and Black, or the Raiders vs. Saints. The Saints are up 14 to nothing, and I predict some good things for the Saints this year, despite their bad start.
--Time Passes--
Halftime has passed, and The Saints are up 21 to 7. Now, technically, ideally, I should want the Raiders to win, because I like Oakland. But let's face it, the only thing intimidating about the Oakland Raiders are its fans. We have a giant bark, but a teeny, tiny bite. We suck at football, and it is okay. Maybe someday, the Raiders will be good, and that will be sweet. Today, however, I want the Saints to make a huge comeback. I also swear that I saw one of the Saints doing Gangnam Style after the last touchdown, and that is just awesome. Except that these Saints keep excessively celebrating, and they need to cut that sh*t out before they get more penalties.
--Time Passes--
Now, at the end of the late games, with two more games to go in the week, all but one of the teams that I picked to win this week actually did win. Several of those teams started out the games behind, and then had to go into overtime, and then won the game. Even if my last two predictions turn out to be wrong, I am at 77% for this week.
I made a last minute change for the Sunday night game, after looking at the teams that the Ravens and the Steelers last defeated. Both have good records, with the Ravens having a slightly better record, but the Steelers seem to have been defeating slightly better teams (like the Giants). They're also at home, so I've changed my gut pick to the Steelers tonight. They better not let me down.
I'm also hesitant about the Chicago Bears this weekend. I didn't like the tie at the end of the 49ers game last week, and am worried that it is going to shake my boyfriend's confidence. However, he will be at home, and on Monday night. The Bears do have a better record, but they are coming off of a loss, at home even.
Here are my two parallel predictions: If the Steelers lose, and the Ravens win, then the 49ers will defeat the Bears. But if the Steelers win, the Bears will win too. In other words, there will be a single team with an 8&2 record at the end of Monday night.
--Time Passes and the Cowboys won. No other overtime games ended in a flipping tie either, thank you.--
The late game that I'm gonna watch - the only one that I have the option of watching - is the one that I'd like to see. Silver and Black vs Gold and Black, or the Raiders vs. Saints. The Saints are up 14 to nothing, and I predict some good things for the Saints this year, despite their bad start.
--Time Passes--
Halftime has passed, and The Saints are up 21 to 7. Now, technically, ideally, I should want the Raiders to win, because I like Oakland. But let's face it, the only thing intimidating about the Oakland Raiders are its fans. We have a giant bark, but a teeny, tiny bite. We suck at football, and it is okay. Maybe someday, the Raiders will be good, and that will be sweet. Today, however, I want the Saints to make a huge comeback. I also swear that I saw one of the Saints doing Gangnam Style after the last touchdown, and that is just awesome. Except that these Saints keep excessively celebrating, and they need to cut that sh*t out before they get more penalties.
--Time Passes--
Now, at the end of the late games, with two more games to go in the week, all but one of the teams that I picked to win this week actually did win. Several of those teams started out the games behind, and then had to go into overtime, and then won the game. Even if my last two predictions turn out to be wrong, I am at 77% for this week.
I made a last minute change for the Sunday night game, after looking at the teams that the Ravens and the Steelers last defeated. Both have good records, with the Ravens having a slightly better record, but the Steelers seem to have been defeating slightly better teams (like the Giants). They're also at home, so I've changed my gut pick to the Steelers tonight. They better not let me down.
I'm also hesitant about the Chicago Bears this weekend. I didn't like the tie at the end of the 49ers game last week, and am worried that it is going to shake my boyfriend's confidence. However, he will be at home, and on Monday night. The Bears do have a better record, but they are coming off of a loss, at home even.
Here are my two parallel predictions: If the Steelers lose, and the Ravens win, then the 49ers will defeat the Bears. But if the Steelers win, the Bears will win too. In other words, there will be a single team with an 8&2 record at the end of Monday night.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Ten Super Late Edition
So, I actually had a post going on Sunday, while watching the games in fact. I was on my flight to Minneapolis, and the airline had showed TV stations at take-off and landing for free, so I was able to see the scores of the games, and a couple of the games.
But the post that I typed up, replete with brilliant witticisms, somehow got lost and is now long gone. I am happy to report that my big upset of the week - which, if you were watching, wasn't a real upset - prediction, New Orleans beating the undefeated Falcons, turned out to be true.
In bizarro news, my boyfriend could not defeat the Rams, but neither could they defeat him! It turned out to be a tie. A MOTHERFLIPPING TIE. 24-24, for gerbil's sake. Now, now I have no idea what to say, but it happened, right there, on nfl.com. So, there, I guess.
But the post that I typed up, replete with brilliant witticisms, somehow got lost and is now long gone. I am happy to report that my big upset of the week - which, if you were watching, wasn't a real upset - prediction, New Orleans beating the undefeated Falcons, turned out to be true.
In bizarro news, my boyfriend could not defeat the Rams, but neither could they defeat him! It turned out to be a tie. A MOTHERFLIPPING TIE. 24-24, for gerbil's sake. Now, now I have no idea what to say, but it happened, right there, on nfl.com. So, there, I guess.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Week Nine Monday Special
So, I was excited this morning, because I figured that I was on my way to another 85% accurate weekend, as long as the Eagles won. Then I started watching the game, and remembered that New Orleans had Drew Brees, and the Eagles had Michael "I don't have a fumbling problem, I just drop the ball a lot" Vick. At the half, New Orleans was up 21-3. After some good plays by New Orleans, I thought that my "nothing matters before the half" comments were just posturing.
Then the Eagles get a defensive touchdown, and they recovered a fumbled kick-off return, and we thought that maybe, just maybe, I was right. We shall see....
--Time Passes--
Did you see that crazy play? Such a shame, that that pretty boy with the long hair didn't get a return touchdown, and then take his shirt off and... I mean, um yeah. Interestingly, even though the Eagles are Mediocre right now, and playing a Bad team, with a loss tonight, they will become Bad. The Saints have to win a few more to get into Mediocre, but if they don't lose another game this season, they could end up as Good.
--Time Passes--
Dude, this [what the hell is that thing called - a stretch of plays down the field, progression? why can't I remember this crap?] is so bad. Vick got like three of the first downs on his own, because the pocket collapsed, then he threw this huge arching pass into the stands. Maybe their coach should get that mouse off of his face and he could help his team think of better plays. They got to 1st and Goal, but two penalties, a crappy pass, and whatever other plays they make.... Ugh, they didn't even get THREE points.
That's it, the Eagles SUCK, just like the rest of the NFC East did this week. But then again, I don't like the NFC East, so, yay for me.
Then the Eagles get a defensive touchdown, and they recovered a fumbled kick-off return, and we thought that maybe, just maybe, I was right. We shall see....
--Time Passes--
Did you see that crazy play? Such a shame, that that pretty boy with the long hair didn't get a return touchdown, and then take his shirt off and... I mean, um yeah. Interestingly, even though the Eagles are Mediocre right now, and playing a Bad team, with a loss tonight, they will become Bad. The Saints have to win a few more to get into Mediocre, but if they don't lose another game this season, they could end up as Good.
--Time Passes--
Dude, this [what the hell is that thing called - a stretch of plays down the field, progression? why can't I remember this crap?] is so bad. Vick got like three of the first downs on his own, because the pocket collapsed, then he threw this huge arching pass into the stands. Maybe their coach should get that mouse off of his face and he could help his team think of better plays. They got to 1st and Goal, but two penalties, a crappy pass, and whatever other plays they make.... Ugh, they didn't even get THREE points.
That's it, the Eagles SUCK, just like the rest of the NFC East did this week. But then again, I don't like the NFC East, so, yay for me.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Nine
Another autumn week, another week of football games. This week marks the half-way point of the season, and it will be interesting to see if any of the teams identified as "Bad" in my analysis can overcome their current standing. Today, the only early game on Network TeeVee is the Mediocre Denver Broncos vs. the Mediocre Cincinnati Bengals. If the Bengals win this game, both teams will become even more Mediocre. If the Broncos win, by virtue of how I am assigning the labels of "Good" and "Bad" this week, they will become Good, and the Bengals will become Bad. The Bengals will be at a point where they would need to win every single one of their remaining games to be considered "Good", and would only hit that mark in week 15. But so far, the Bengals look ready to fall into the Bad camp in 2012. Sorry, Cincinnati.
I just remembered that San Francisco has a Bye this week, and that is why the Network games available are so sparse. I can follow Green Bay on the computer, and it seems that they have the ball in the Red Zone, and it is 2nd and Goal. I predict that they will be up 3-0 soon!
--Time Passes--
Oh, but I was wrong, they got a TOUCHDOWN! Sweetness. I guess I forgot that the Cardinals are a horrible team. Being sick over the week, and then hearing that my boyfriend was edged out for NFC Player of the Month, when I didn't even know such a thing existed, was distracting. I think that I also conflated them with the Atlanta Falcons, a Good team, because both have place-names that start with A.
--Time Passes--
So, I went out in the afternoon, and came back to see the end of the late game. Oakland came back from a really bad place, and I hate betting against my favorite teams, because when they do well, I get disappointed because it bodes badly for my picks. So far, with the end of the Vikings/Stupidhawks game, I'm at 8 for 13 picks made. (I never made a decision on the Thursday night game, and then it was played). The Steelers are also coming back from behind, which screws up my picks, but hell, anything to prevent the Giants from ruining the playoffs again is fine by me.
And, in the interests of home town pride... LET'S GO OAK-LAND!
--Time Passes--
But you knew it was too good to be true. The nice thing is that I win either way ;) And it is time to say goodbye to Week Nine, may my boyfriend have a good rest, then defeat the Rams next week (like they need to be wished well to do that, sheesh!).
I just remembered that San Francisco has a Bye this week, and that is why the Network games available are so sparse. I can follow Green Bay on the computer, and it seems that they have the ball in the Red Zone, and it is 2nd and Goal. I predict that they will be up 3-0 soon!
--Time Passes--
Oh, but I was wrong, they got a TOUCHDOWN! Sweetness. I guess I forgot that the Cardinals are a horrible team. Being sick over the week, and then hearing that my boyfriend was edged out for NFC Player of the Month, when I didn't even know such a thing existed, was distracting. I think that I also conflated them with the Atlanta Falcons, a Good team, because both have place-names that start with A.
--Time Passes--
So, I went out in the afternoon, and came back to see the end of the late game. Oakland came back from a really bad place, and I hate betting against my favorite teams, because when they do well, I get disappointed because it bodes badly for my picks. So far, with the end of the Vikings/Stupidhawks game, I'm at 8 for 13 picks made. (I never made a decision on the Thursday night game, and then it was played). The Steelers are also coming back from behind, which screws up my picks, but hell, anything to prevent the Giants from ruining the playoffs again is fine by me.
And, in the interests of home town pride... LET'S GO OAK-LAND!
--Time Passes--
But you knew it was too good to be true. The nice thing is that I win either way ;) And it is time to say goodbye to Week Nine, may my boyfriend have a good rest, then defeat the Rams next week (like they need to be wished well to do that, sheesh!).
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
A Wizard Who Plays Football...
One could say that I play..... "Fantasy Football".
| This was my Halloween costume, created and worn on Saturday, when the Halloween parties happened. I went to one party, and left after like 30 minutes, but I made tons of people there and on the street laugh, which was a lot of fun. I'll re-use this costume idea, and it will be better once I get a real Alex Smith jersey and a sewing machine to improve the cape. Fun fact, there are at least 4 stories to this costume, including the one you know. Another one is that I dressed as the player that I have decided to call my boyfriend, which leads into another story about how, one year, my then-boyfriend and I dressed as each other for Halloween. The final story is that I often refer to myself as a wizard. In other words, I dressed as myself and as my boyfriend, creating a football playing wizard. |
|
Monday, October 29, 2012
Because He's Alex %$#&ing Smith!
Well, my boyfriend set a record tonight - 18 completed passes, for 19 attempts, in one game. This is apparently, pretty epic to people who keep track of such things. All I know is that this guy is a freaking god, and we should all have shrines to him on our mantles. I need to build mine this week.
On a Facebook post from an Arizona Cardinals fan, another person asked, "How the hell is Alex Smith 17/18?" The moment is sort of lost, but my answer to the question is in the title of this post.
Basically, now is when I begin posturing and shouting swear words to proclaim how awesome my boyfriend is. I don't really want to pay $100, but I need me an Alex Smith jersey, preferably one of the away versions. Red is just a little too bold for me these days.
Damn if I don't love being a San Francisco 49ers fan!
On a Facebook post from an Arizona Cardinals fan, another person asked, "How the hell is Alex Smith 17/18?" The moment is sort of lost, but my answer to the question is in the title of this post.
Basically, now is when I begin posturing and shouting swear words to proclaim how awesome my boyfriend is. I don't really want to pay $100, but I need me an Alex Smith jersey, preferably one of the away versions. Red is just a little too bold for me these days.
Damn if I don't love being a San Francisco 49ers fan!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Eight
Games are on, but I am far more interested in tooling around on the intarwebs, and watching MST3k. I have the NFL website up to monitor games, and the Packers are NOT as far ahead as I would like. Also, the Vikings lost on Thursday, which kind of makes me smile, in a vindictive sort of way, but it mostly makes me angry. See, now it turns out that my pick was wrong, and now the Vikings are not as good a team. I'd be fine with the Vikings going 12-4, so long as the four losses were 2 to the Packers, one to the Lions, and one to the Bears. That would be perfect, but noooo, they had to lose. Pbbbbtt.
--Time Passes--
Random game updates from the internets:
--Time Passes--
So, now that I've been to Target and back, I come home and see the results of the early games. The Bears did stop sucking, the Packers won, as did the Falcons, Patriots, Steelers, and Dolphins. But somehow, the Bolts could not defeat the Browns, which is somewhat confusing, but they were in Cleveland. Next time, I'm going to not be shy about writing down my gut feeling like I did this week, I guess I was just overwhelmed by my own success last week. It is too bad that I'd rather watch Girls Town than football, maybe. It is actually too bad that I'm crashing from a chocolate-induced sugar-high, and don't want to blog about football right now. Bah.
--Time Passes--
Random game updates from the internets:
- The Jaguars got another field goal, and despite being down by 8 points to the Packers, it still makes me angry.
- The Jets are being shut out by the Dolphins right now, which cracks me up to no end.
- Somehow, the Browns are winning, at the half.
- Tennessee is winning, as are Hotlanta, Pittsburgh, New England, and the Stupidhawks, so many things are right with the world.
- Chicago better stop sucking in the second half, because losing to the NFC South is just embarrassing.
--Time Passes--
So, now that I've been to Target and back, I come home and see the results of the early games. The Bears did stop sucking, the Packers won, as did the Falcons, Patriots, Steelers, and Dolphins. But somehow, the Bolts could not defeat the Browns, which is somewhat confusing, but they were in Cleveland. Next time, I'm going to not be shy about writing down my gut feeling like I did this week, I guess I was just overwhelmed by my own success last week. It is too bad that I'd rather watch Girls Town than football, maybe. It is actually too bad that I'm crashing from a chocolate-induced sugar-high, and don't want to blog about football right now. Bah.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Seven
The week began early with the Thursday night game pre-empting Jeopardy, but it turned out to be the 49ers, with my boyfriend, playing the Stupidhawks. The Stupidhawks away uniforms are much more attractive than their home uniforms, so they weren't playing that well. On the other hand, my boyfriend didn't throw any touchdowns last week, and hadn't thrown one yet in this game. But when I started paying attention, and turned up the TV volume, he got a lot better. Near the end of the game, a defensive player sacked the opposing QB, and my roommate told me that said defensive player was his boyfriend. As it turns out, our boyfriends have the same last name, which is convenient. It was a great game, and Seattle fell to 4&3, though they should really be 3&4, or 0&7 - I don't even care that they're in the NFC West.
--Days Pass--
My football blogging this week is pretty sparse, due to weirdness happening in my life. I missed all of the early games, until the very end, due to a late awakening, and the need to take a walk. The only late game that is on for me now are the very bad Jacksonville Jaguars against the also very bad Oakland Raiders. I'm sure that the Jets-Patriots game would be a bit more exciting, objectively, but OMG I do not want to watch that. Also, instead of paying attention to the Raiders playing badly, then playing better, then badly again, I finally finished voting on the 23 various ballot measures and the ranked choice voting for mayor and city councilmember. I've sealed up and signed my ballot, and am ready to throw it in the mail on Monday.
--Time Passes--
Well, this game is certainly interesting now, and both of the late games today went into overtime. I also have to say that I think that Oakland should include the pink shoes and towels as part of their uniforms permanently. It accents the black and silver perfectly. Back to overtime, a touchdown will end the game, so Oakland needs to stop the Jaguars from doing that, then do it themselves. If the Patriots win their game, it will be really good for my Gut Picks this week. Then the Steelers and DA BEARS need to win, and my Gut Picks will have an 85% success rate.
--Time Passes--
And Janikowski gets it in, for a Raider win, with the Patriots winning in overtime too. :D Gut Picks at 69% now, so I'm wrapping it up for Week 7.
--Days Pass--
My football blogging this week is pretty sparse, due to weirdness happening in my life. I missed all of the early games, until the very end, due to a late awakening, and the need to take a walk. The only late game that is on for me now are the very bad Jacksonville Jaguars against the also very bad Oakland Raiders. I'm sure that the Jets-Patriots game would be a bit more exciting, objectively, but OMG I do not want to watch that. Also, instead of paying attention to the Raiders playing badly, then playing better, then badly again, I finally finished voting on the 23 various ballot measures and the ranked choice voting for mayor and city councilmember. I've sealed up and signed my ballot, and am ready to throw it in the mail on Monday.
--Time Passes--
Well, this game is certainly interesting now, and both of the late games today went into overtime. I also have to say that I think that Oakland should include the pink shoes and towels as part of their uniforms permanently. It accents the black and silver perfectly. Back to overtime, a touchdown will end the game, so Oakland needs to stop the Jaguars from doing that, then do it themselves. If the Patriots win their game, it will be really good for my Gut Picks this week. Then the Steelers and DA BEARS need to win, and my Gut Picks will have an 85% success rate.
--Time Passes--
And Janikowski gets it in, for a Raider win, with the Patriots winning in overtime too. :D Gut Picks at 69% now, so I'm wrapping it up for Week 7.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Six
LET'S GO OAKLAND! Could it be? In the 4th quarter, the Raiders are holding their own against the Falcons, in Hotlanta. Of course, now that I have said that, the Raiders are sure to lose. If they win, that will mean that my "Ideal" picks are doing better than the Gut picks, and the picks based on my CUHLA this week. And we are going into overtime, or not... oh well, one more point for my Gut picks.
So, This is the month were the football players wear the pink shoes, which always clash with their colors. However, none clash so badly as the teams that use red, and I know this, because of my mom. See, in the second or third grade, on Valentine's day, I decided to wear red and pink, with some hearts, because IT WAS VALENTINE'S DAY. However, when I came out of my room, my mother instantly freaked out, told me that I couldn't wear red and pink together, because they clashed. No amount of explanation that it was a holiday that used red and pink would placate her, so I had to change out of my perfectly appropriate outfit. Since then, the whole world has come to appreciate color clashing, and no longer polices color choices like they used to. But, I will always point out that red and pink should not go together. So Atlanta, Washington,San Francisco (they're not wearing the pink shoes, thank goodness), Arizona, Kansas City, Tampa Bay, and even Buffalo, New England and Houston, I AM LOOKING AT YOU, and I am judging you, unfavorably.
With the end of the early game, my Gut and Ideal picks are neck-and-neck, whereas my CUHLA picks are at the bottom of the barrel. The sadness is that I want my Gut picks to do well, since they did so well in week 5, but my Gut picked the Giants over the 49ers, the Giants are my third-least-favorite team, and the 49ers are my second favorite. So far, so good, though that interception (that looked exactly like the Jennings interception in week three - no, do not go there, Urs) was pretty scary. If the 49ers can get them to a punt, or hold them to three, I think we'll be ok, and my gut will never bet against the Niners again.
So, I decided to go for a walk during the Niner's game, while the score was 7-3 Giants. I needed to do some walking, and wanted to pick up some burritos for dinner. I paid no attention to the football, went to the Humane Society, got some gum, and then checked the score at the burrito place as I waited, and wanted to cry. I hope and pray that this dooes not repeat itself in the playoffs! I do not want to watch another Giants Super Bowl, ever. My Gut picks are still doing better than CUHLA or Ideal, sadly. On to the Packer game tonight, and the Bolts tomorrow. If my gut is right, the Packers will slide to 2&4, making them officially "Bad" and the Bolts will get another win. Not sure what I want now. But, thus ends the Week Six post.
So, This is the month were the football players wear the pink shoes, which always clash with their colors. However, none clash so badly as the teams that use red, and I know this, because of my mom. See, in the second or third grade, on Valentine's day, I decided to wear red and pink, with some hearts, because IT WAS VALENTINE'S DAY. However, when I came out of my room, my mother instantly freaked out, told me that I couldn't wear red and pink together, because they clashed. No amount of explanation that it was a holiday that used red and pink would placate her, so I had to change out of my perfectly appropriate outfit. Since then, the whole world has come to appreciate color clashing, and no longer polices color choices like they used to. But, I will always point out that red and pink should not go together. So Atlanta, Washington,
With the end of the early game, my Gut and Ideal picks are neck-and-neck, whereas my CUHLA picks are at the bottom of the barrel. The sadness is that I want my Gut picks to do well, since they did so well in week 5, but my Gut picked the Giants over the 49ers, the Giants are my third-least-favorite team, and the 49ers are my second favorite. So far, so good, though that interception (that looked exactly like the Jennings interception in week three - no, do not go there, Urs) was pretty scary. If the 49ers can get them to a punt, or hold them to three, I think we'll be ok, and my gut will never bet against the Niners again.
So, I decided to go for a walk during the Niner's game, while the score was 7-3 Giants. I needed to do some walking, and wanted to pick up some burritos for dinner. I paid no attention to the football, went to the Humane Society, got some gum, and then checked the score at the burrito place as I waited, and wanted to cry. I hope and pray that this dooes not repeat itself in the playoffs! I do not want to watch another Giants Super Bowl, ever. My Gut picks are still doing better than CUHLA or Ideal, sadly. On to the Packer game tonight, and the Bolts tomorrow. If my gut is right, the Packers will slide to 2&4, making them officially "Bad" and the Bolts will get another win. Not sure what I want now. But, thus ends the Week Six post.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Five
Week five is the week when I get to dye my hair again, and thank goodness, because it is getting less and less brown all the time. I have no idea how I will know when I can dye it when my weeks are not conveniently numbered like they are September-December. I guess that is why I typically have 2 and 3 inch blond roots coming out of my head during the rest of the year, but I digress. FOOTBALL.
The Packer game is not being played out here in the Bay, just the Battle of Pennsylvania and Baltimore against Kansas City. Each game features a team that I'd rather not watch, but I like the Eagles more than I like the Ravens, so I'm watching their game. The game is really really messy, with the Steelers constantly messing up the long snap, and Vick just keeps dropping the ball. My roommate just asked me if these are NFL teams, which is how bad things are getting.
--Time Passes--
So, after some crap with the audio on the TV Network that is playing this game, the Steelers scored, which made me sad. See, I've decided to use my useless, high-level analysis to make predictions. I use three metrics, actually; my useless, high-level analysis, my "gut", and the final is my ideal winner, based on my irrational loyalties. After Thursday, my gut is 100%, while my analysis and ideal are failing. I picked the Eagles for all three of my metrics now, so they better win. However, it is now raining, and Pittsburgh is at home. This may mean that I should look at more information when making these predictions, but I probably won't.
--Time Passes--
So, coping with the loss... just remembering that 13-3 is a good record, and the 49ers are doing pretty well so far. The nice thing about this game is that people seem to be able to hold onto the ball. The game is in SF, and I'm hoping that the Blue Angels fly above a couple of times. The commentators showed a shot of Fisherman's Wharf, including some sailors walking by, but they failed to mention that it is Fleet Week. It is a beautiful day too, so there probably won't be any weather shenanigans for this game. Of course, everything can change after the half, well, if the 49ers were the Packers, which they are not. They just play like I wish the Packers would play. [trying to put the loss out of my mind]
--Time Passes--
So, just after I posted the above paragraph, SF fumbled, but then Buffalo fumbled as soon as they started playing, and SF got a touchdown. My roommie and I then headed out to the local flea market to pick up a few things. When we got back, my roommate saw the score first and started to laugh. Unlike when we leave during the Packer game, the 49ers were not losing, and instead were leading the Bills by 27 points, and had yet to score the extra point on their recent touchdown. And amusingly, the 49ers DID score 40 points this week, and against an AFC team to boot. On to week 6....
The Packer game is not being played out here in the Bay, just the Battle of Pennsylvania and Baltimore against Kansas City. Each game features a team that I'd rather not watch, but I like the Eagles more than I like the Ravens, so I'm watching their game. The game is really really messy, with the Steelers constantly messing up the long snap, and Vick just keeps dropping the ball. My roommate just asked me if these are NFL teams, which is how bad things are getting.
--Time Passes--
So, after some crap with the audio on the TV Network that is playing this game, the Steelers scored, which made me sad. See, I've decided to use my useless, high-level analysis to make predictions. I use three metrics, actually; my useless, high-level analysis, my "gut", and the final is my ideal winner, based on my irrational loyalties. After Thursday, my gut is 100%, while my analysis and ideal are failing. I picked the Eagles for all three of my metrics now, so they better win. However, it is now raining, and Pittsburgh is at home. This may mean that I should look at more information when making these predictions, but I probably won't.
--Time Passes--
| So Philly lost, but Hotlanta won, and the Packers still had a lot of time left. They were down for a little, then went up again, and then the TV had to stop showing the game, so I started watching the 49ers on the TV, and monitored the Packers on the computer. Things were ok, so I went down to do laundry, and when I came back up and refreshed my computer, well, it was kind of like this. ---> HOW DID WE LOSE TO THE COLTS?!?! OMG, whatever | 
|
So, coping with the loss... just remembering that 13-3 is a good record, and the 49ers are doing pretty well so far. The nice thing about this game is that people seem to be able to hold onto the ball. The game is in SF, and I'm hoping that the Blue Angels fly above a couple of times. The commentators showed a shot of Fisherman's Wharf, including some sailors walking by, but they failed to mention that it is Fleet Week. It is a beautiful day too, so there probably won't be any weather shenanigans for this game. Of course, everything can change after the half, well, if the 49ers were the Packers, which they are not. They just play like I wish the Packers would play. [trying to put the loss out of my mind]
--Time Passes--
So, just after I posted the above paragraph, SF fumbled, but then Buffalo fumbled as soon as they started playing, and SF got a touchdown. My roommie and I then headed out to the local flea market to pick up a few things. When we got back, my roommate saw the score first and started to laugh. Unlike when we leave during the Packer game, the 49ers were not losing, and instead were leading the Bills by 27 points, and had yet to score the extra point on their recent touchdown. And amusingly, the 49ers DID score 40 points this week, and against an AFC team to boot. On to week 6....
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Four
So, today is another day, another weekend, and another set of games available on Network TV in the Bay Area. I missed a big chunk of the early game, and may miss more if we go to Target or get lunch or something, but it doesn't matter because Packers aren't playing until 3:15 CDT, or 1:15 here in the bay. After a couple of weeks of working myself up, I am definitely worked up for this game. New Orleans is 0-3, and Packers are coming off a loss that shouldn't-have-been.
But first, the 49ers play the Jets, and by "play", I mean "practice scoring lots of points against an AFC team for when they get to the Super Bowl". San Francisco plays as well as I wish the Packers would play. I mean, did you see that blocked punt? Just marvelous.
One thing that drives me nuts is to hear the interviews after the game. Usually, I'll mute the TV and/or just talk over the responses to questions with my own commentary. Here is a little example of what I wish Alex Smith would say.
In other news, apparently, the Atlanta Falcons are really good too, which makes sense, since I hear that Atlanta is a really gorgeous city. However, the Panthers are close to defeating them, which I hope they do, because I hate to see any team that is not the Packers go undefeated, ever.
--Time Passes--
I'm watching the TV, and now I see that the Packer game is delayed by 10 minutes, which I guess is cool, since this Panther/Falcon game is still pretty intense, but it also makes me think hella swear words. There are like 14 seconds left in this game, and I'm pissed at Carolina for not being better.
--Time Passes--
The Packer game started, and I actually miss the crappy officials, because more flags meant more craziness, and more fun. Of course, I also judge team goodness based on how much I like their hometown, so my opinion may not be valid. I urge my none readers to not assume this to be because I am a woman, but rather, understand that I have this opinion because I'm a crazy person, raised by other crazy people, full stop.
--Time Passes--
So, halftime has ended, and I'm just not feeling this game. Maybe I'm liking the 49ers too much, maybe this game is feeling too normal, I'm not sure. They keep pointing out Clay Matthews, and I'm not sure why, unless they want to encourage me to think certain thoughts about him, and that lovely blond hair. I'm sure that it isn't that, since they don't even know me - I'm not even sure if I know who they are, anyway. This game needs to either become more interesting, or end with a Green Bay win. I'd prefer both, but I'd be happy with the latter.
--Time Passes--
Well, the game got more interesting, and New Orleans seems on its way to their first win. How painfully annoying. Oakland also lost to the Broncos, my least favorite team of my favorite division in the Conference that I don't like.
--Time Passes--
But after some crazy, crazy activities, the Packers eeked out a win, then they took me to the end of a game between a former division rival, and a team that I kind of wish didn't exist, in my least favorite division. Our former division rivals are up by a single point, and I hope they keep it, and block this field goal, but, whatever. In other news, theStupidSeahawks LOST this week, so... nyah. And with that, I think I need a nap, or something.
Post Sunday Night Game Announcement - the only team in the NFC East that I like won tonight, against one of the other teams in the NFC East. Hooray!
But first, the 49ers play the Jets, and by "play", I mean "practice scoring lots of points against an AFC team for when they get to the Super Bowl". San Francisco plays as well as I wish the Packers would play. I mean, did you see that blocked punt? Just marvelous.
One thing that drives me nuts is to hear the interviews after the game. Usually, I'll mute the TV and/or just talk over the responses to questions with my own commentary. Here is a little example of what I wish Alex Smith would say.
Reporter: Why do you think San Francisco is doing so well?
Smith: Well, I live in a really awesome city, right next to the ocean, around a lot of cool people. I watch the sun set over the Pacific like, every day, then I go out dancing in the Castro. Have you ever been over there? They know how to party, it is awesome.
Reporter: You shut out the Jets this Sunday, and got over 30 points, do you think you can do it again?
Smith: Of course I can do it again, I am Alex &$^%ing Smith, and I play for the 49ers. We're a team named after gold miners, and gold is the best thing in the world, plus Joe Montana played for this team. I bet I can score over 40 points in the next game, &^%$.
Reporter: Are you at all concerned about your offense feeling any pressure?
Smith: Are you kidding me? We've got Frank Gore, Randy Moss, and all those other guys whose names I can't even remember because Moss and Gore are so awesome, or at least, they have four-letter last names that are easier to remember, I digress... My offense will go out and eat other teams for dinner.
Reporter: Are you worried that your defense might crumble under some pressure?
Smith: I have no idea what you're talking about, did you see the big goose egg in the score today?
Reporter: Why did you decide to take a knee at the end of the game, instead of score?
Smith: Because we're not the goddamn Cowboys and we have some class, thank you. Look, I know you all want to talk to me some more, but I have a manicure scheduled, SMITH OUT!
In other news, apparently, the Atlanta Falcons are really good too, which makes sense, since I hear that Atlanta is a really gorgeous city. However, the Panthers are close to defeating them, which I hope they do, because I hate to see any team that is not the Packers go undefeated, ever.
--Time Passes--
I'm watching the TV, and now I see that the Packer game is delayed by 10 minutes, which I guess is cool, since this Panther/Falcon game is still pretty intense, but it also makes me think hella swear words. There are like 14 seconds left in this game, and I'm pissed at Carolina for not being better.
--Time Passes--
The Packer game started, and I actually miss the crappy officials, because more flags meant more craziness, and more fun. Of course, I also judge team goodness based on how much I like their hometown, so my opinion may not be valid. I urge my none readers to not assume this to be because I am a woman, but rather, understand that I have this opinion because I'm a crazy person, raised by other crazy people, full stop.
--Time Passes--
So, halftime has ended, and I'm just not feeling this game. Maybe I'm liking the 49ers too much, maybe this game is feeling too normal, I'm not sure. They keep pointing out Clay Matthews, and I'm not sure why, unless they want to encourage me to think certain thoughts about him, and that lovely blond hair. I'm sure that it isn't that, since they don't even know me - I'm not even sure if I know who they are, anyway. This game needs to either become more interesting, or end with a Green Bay win. I'd prefer both, but I'd be happy with the latter.
--Time Passes--
Well, the game got more interesting, and New Orleans seems on its way to their first win. How painfully annoying. Oakland also lost to the Broncos, my least favorite team of my favorite division in the Conference that I don't like.
--Time Passes--
But after some crazy, crazy activities, the Packers eeked out a win, then they took me to the end of a game between a former division rival, and a team that I kind of wish didn't exist, in my least favorite division. Our former division rivals are up by a single point, and I hope they keep it, and block this field goal, but, whatever. In other news, the
Post Sunday Night Game Announcement - the only team in the NFC East that I like won tonight, against one of the other teams in the NFC East. Hooray!
Monday, September 24, 2012
Ode to That One Guy in Charge of That Team
I shall crush you! (except that I can't really remember your stupid name)
The mighty anger of my rage shall swell up to staggering heights!
It shall come down upon you like Jennings did with that ball! [goddamnit!]
[incoherent yelling - you may want to look away for a moment]
Your Needle of Space is no match for the terror of my angry stares!
Your fans and players shall not know the joy of a true win, and they will always know!
They will don those blue pants and stupid fluorescent green shoes in shame!
SHAME!
RRRRRRRRR >< AAAAAHHHH
The whole world seems to be ending, the refs made the wrong call!
You #$)(*@ piece of &#$)@ stainless @&#$$.
I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!
I will never calm down!
I cannot calm down!
Something bad happened in football.
I guess that I'll go to bed.
Seattle is safe
My rage will be contained in fits of tears, cried into my pillows in California.
Goodnight, you $%@*( #$&(@ &^#.
Of course, on second thought, 14-2 is still a perfectly respectable record.
The mighty anger of my rage shall swell up to staggering heights!
It shall come down upon you like Jennings did with that ball! [goddamnit!]
[incoherent yelling - you may want to look away for a moment]
Your Needle of Space is no match for the terror of my angry stares!
Your fans and players shall not know the joy of a true win, and they will always know!
They will don those blue pants and stupid fluorescent green shoes in shame!
SHAME!
RRRRRRRRR >< AAAAAHHHH
The whole world seems to be ending, the refs made the wrong call!
You #$)(*@ piece of &#$)@ stainless @&#$$.
I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!
I will never calm down!
I cannot calm down!
Something bad happened in football.
I guess that I'll go to bed.
Seattle is safe
My rage will be contained in fits of tears, cried into my pillows in California.
Goodnight, you $%@*( #$&(@ &^#.
Of course, on second thought, 14-2 is still a perfectly respectable record.
SunMondays are for Football: Week Three
Because I spent part of my Sunday in costume, wandering around the Folsom Street Fair, and the other part recovering from the wandering, I paid absolutely no attention to the football games on Sunday. I seriously could not be bothered to care, partially because my chest hurt from inhaling all of the smoke from the fair, but also because I knew that Packers were not playing, because they were, instead, meeting some team for the Monday Night Football.
They happen to be playing the Seattle Seahawks, which were one of the NFL expansion teams from the 1990's, I think. Their team colors and uniforms were clearly selected during the early 1990's, and my roommate has determined that they are better at the football than Packers because they know how ugly their uniforms are, and recognize that they better be good at the football to distract from their hideous uniforms. I will note that the Packer away uniforms are also really ugly, but it does not appear to be making them any better at the football.
I must say that my football blogging this week is pretty bad, because nothing is coming to mind. I also tried to eat my face this morning (bit the inside of my mouth while eating), and the sore is hurting me a lot. Really, my roommate's comment about the uniforms is probably the best that you will get out of me tonight, and it is still 6 to 7,StupidSeahawks.
--Time Passes--
And at the end of the game, Jennings had that ball, but whatever. Except it wasn't a touchdown, and the game isn't even over. WHATEVER. To paraphrase one commentator, the Packers are not going to fly 6,000 miles home with that result.
Yes, he did say "six thousand miles". I say paraphrase because the other words around that phrase may not be remembered accurately, but I distinctly heard "six thousand miles".
They happen to be playing the Seattle Seahawks, which were one of the NFL expansion teams from the 1990's, I think. Their team colors and uniforms were clearly selected during the early 1990's, and my roommate has determined that they are better at the football than Packers because they know how ugly their uniforms are, and recognize that they better be good at the football to distract from their hideous uniforms. I will note that the Packer away uniforms are also really ugly, but it does not appear to be making them any better at the football.
I must say that my football blogging this week is pretty bad, because nothing is coming to mind. I also tried to eat my face this morning (bit the inside of my mouth while eating), and the sore is hurting me a lot. Really, my roommate's comment about the uniforms is probably the best that you will get out of me tonight, and it is still 6 to 7,
--Time Passes--
And at the end of the game, Jennings had that ball, but whatever. Except it wasn't a touchdown, and the game isn't even over. WHATEVER. To paraphrase one commentator, the Packers are not going to fly 6,000 miles home with that result.
Yes, he did say "six thousand miles". I say paraphrase because the other words around that phrase may not be remembered accurately, but I distinctly heard "six thousand miles".
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Sundays are for Football: Week Two
Well, the Packers already won their game on Thursday night, against a team that won last week. This leads me to think that San Francisco is just really good and the Packers may meet up with them again in in the real Super Bowl NFC Championship game.
So there is no Packer game, but there is an Oakland Raider game, in Miami, where the Raiders are wearing their home-game uniforms, because Miami's home-game uniforms are white? Or does it work differently in the AFC? I have no idea, and refuse to actually research it. In any case, the Raiders are winning, in the third quarter, which is pretty sweet. I suspect that the Raiders will win this one, based on the fact that the Dolphins are a "Bad" team, and the Raiders are "Mediocre", or at least they were last year. (written before Reggie Bush got two touchdowns.... and the touchdown pass, and the eventual Miami win)
It is too early in the season for me to start my actual analysis of teams, which is based only on their record of wins and losses, and contains just three categories. I could get all into the player stats, and the penalties, and yards gained, or lost, but that would just be a lot of really fun-less effort, for which I would get exactly zero compensation. Now, some would take this as evidence that I am not *that* committed to football, and therefore don't really like the game. They would be correct on the former, but completely wrong on the latter. I have simply come to terms with my laziness imperfection, and won't be beating myself up, or working myself over something that should be entertainment. Still, I want to do some analysis, since I'm so inclined, and the easiest analysis is over records. Starting in Week 5, expect a link to a Google Docs spreadsheet with some info.
I'd like to see the San Francisco game, later today, but may be entertaining family at the time. I'm skipping the late game, because both of the games that are shown on the Networks feature teams that I don't really like watching. Look for one last paragraph about San Francisco, regardless. I want to see if they are just really, really good.
--Time Passes--
And, after a dinner, I caught parts of the second half of the 49ers game. I put it on the living room TV, but with my downstairs neighbors having a music party, and me reading Facebook, I wasn't paying attention to the game. I closed my computer and focused on the game, with 4 minutes left on the clock. The 49ers really pwned during this game, it seems, and against the Detroit Lions, who were "Good" last year. I predict, based on what I know from last season, and what I have seen this year, that the NFC team that goes to the Super Bowl will be the San Francisco 49ers.
So there is no Packer game, but there is an Oakland Raider game, in Miami, where the Raiders are wearing their home-game uniforms, because Miami's home-game uniforms are white? Or does it work differently in the AFC? I have no idea, and refuse to actually research it. In any case, the Raiders are winning, in the third quarter, which is pretty sweet. I suspect that the Raiders will win this one, based on the fact that the Dolphins are a "Bad" team, and the Raiders are "Mediocre", or at least they were last year. (written before Reggie Bush got two touchdowns.... and the touchdown pass, and the eventual Miami win)
It is too early in the season for me to start my actual analysis of teams, which is based only on their record of wins and losses, and contains just three categories. I could get all into the player stats, and the penalties, and yards gained, or lost, but that would just be a lot of really fun-less effort, for which I would get exactly zero compensation. Now, some would take this as evidence that I am not *that* committed to football, and therefore don't really like the game. They would be correct on the former, but completely wrong on the latter. I have simply come to terms with my laziness imperfection, and won't be beating myself up, or working myself over something that should be entertainment. Still, I want to do some analysis, since I'm so inclined, and the easiest analysis is over records. Starting in Week 5, expect a link to a Google Docs spreadsheet with some info.
I'd like to see the San Francisco game, later today, but may be entertaining family at the time. I'm skipping the late game, because both of the games that are shown on the Networks feature teams that I don't really like watching. Look for one last paragraph about San Francisco, regardless. I want to see if they are just really, really good.
--Time Passes--
And, after a dinner, I caught parts of the second half of the 49ers game. I put it on the living room TV, but with my downstairs neighbors having a music party, and me reading Facebook, I wasn't paying attention to the game. I closed my computer and focused on the game, with 4 minutes left on the clock. The 49ers really pwned during this game, it seems, and against the Detroit Lions, who were "Good" last year. I predict, based on what I know from last season, and what I have seen this year, that the NFC team that goes to the Super Bowl will be the San Francisco 49ers.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
You Don't Want to Make Me Mad
 | You really, really don't want to irritate me. My stares are not very nice. I'm actually pretty impressed with how well I drew my own face and the convincing Aaron Rodgers jersey. The slight asymmetry of my face is incredibly convenient in this aspect too. My ability to draw arms, on the other hand, is obviously sub-par. I also think that this drawing of myself is too thin to be a completely accurate representation, but it is pretty close. |
Sundays are for Football: Week One
I did manage to wake up and stop watching MST3k this morning in time to catch the early games. Washington vs. New Orleans on FOX, and Indianapolis vs. DA BEARS on NBC. I prefer to watch the NBC game, in case I get to see Chicago lose. Of course, if they win, they beat an AFC team, and increase the standings of the entire NFC North, which is good.
And after the first half of play, the [one team] are kicking some series @$$, but the [other team] are hanging in there. I must confess, however, that I spent more time looking at Facebook posts than watching the game. I am checking out the Half Time report, and on CBS even, because I like James Brown and that Boomer guy. Apparently, [another NFC North] is also doing well, against another AFC team, so things look good for the NFC North. I am also noticing that the half time scores all look more like final scores, and wonder if Defenses are getting worse, or Offenses are getting better.
And at the end of the Bears Colts game, the Bears are up by [a two-digit number] points, and I'm switching over to Packers!
So, Troy Aikman, who I like a lot more as a TV Personality than a Cowboy, said that the Packers used their draft picks on defense, since the defense was bad last year. And I think that the 49ers just went [a phrase that means that they didn't do too well] in their first possession. I'll be back at the commercial.
But the NFL just reminded me that any accounts of the game without their consent are not allowed, so, I'm taking any specificity out of my accounts. I hope that covers it. I respect the NFL's copyright rules, in part because their commercials are so good, but mostly because I recognize that they recognize that the games are their bread and butter. I think that the NFL, as a whole, is staffed with some smart people, and is above average, in terms of organizational skills.
I will say that Jim Harbaugh's ferocity (did you see the spittle specks on the side of his mouth in that one shot? I did) in the first quarter certainly paid off.
And my roommate came home before the first half was over, and we went out for burritos at the half. We got back, I walked in the door in the middle of the 3rd quarter, and just started laughing. After watching a few plays, I concluded that the Green Bay receivers had decided to rub some Real Wisconsin Butter for "good luck" before each play. They really should stop doing that. In any case, win or lose, it looks like a good game, and I will continue to yell at the TV. I've decided to end my chaotic Week One post now, before the end of the game.
And after the first half of play, the [one team] are kicking some series @$$, but the [other team] are hanging in there. I must confess, however, that I spent more time looking at Facebook posts than watching the game. I am checking out the Half Time report, and on CBS even, because I like James Brown and that Boomer guy. Apparently, [another NFC North] is also doing well, against another AFC team, so things look good for the NFC North. I am also noticing that the half time scores all look more like final scores, and wonder if Defenses are getting worse, or Offenses are getting better.
And at the end of the Bears Colts game, the Bears are up by [a two-digit number] points, and I'm switching over to Packers!
So, Troy Aikman, who I like a lot more as a TV Personality than a Cowboy, said that the Packers used their draft picks on defense, since the defense was bad last year. And I think that the 49ers just went [a phrase that means that they didn't do too well] in their first possession. I'll be back at the commercial.
But the NFL just reminded me that any accounts of the game without their consent are not allowed, so, I'm taking any specificity out of my accounts. I hope that covers it. I respect the NFL's copyright rules, in part because their commercials are so good, but mostly because I recognize that they recognize that the games are their bread and butter. I think that the NFL, as a whole, is staffed with some smart people, and is above average, in terms of organizational skills.
I will say that Jim Harbaugh's ferocity (did you see the spittle specks on the side of his mouth in that one shot? I did) in the first quarter certainly paid off.
And my roommate came home before the first half was over, and we went out for burritos at the half. We got back, I walked in the door in the middle of the 3rd quarter, and just started laughing. After watching a few plays, I concluded that the Green Bay receivers had decided to rub some Real Wisconsin Butter for "good luck" before each play. They really should stop doing that. In any case, win or lose, it looks like a good game, and I will continue to yell at the TV. I've decided to end my chaotic Week One post now, before the end of the game.
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